> > Last night, Amanda told me that part of my
> >problem is that I don't get angry enough. There
> >was a lot of other conversation, and I had been
> >pressuring her to find faults with me and tell
> >me what they are because I couldn't accept that
> >she could think I am wonderful and deserve the
> >best and that she would still dump me. She was
> >not doing anything awful to me, just trying to
> >give me what I was asking for.
>
> Can I give you some advice that someone gave me once? If someone says they don't like blueberries, you don't ask them *why* they don't like blueberries--they just *don't*. Asking why doesn't accomplish anything. It doesn't matter that everyone you know *loves* blueberries. This person doesn't, and probably can't put in words why they don't like them. It's nonsensical to keep asking them why they don't like them, and it accomplishes nothing.
>
> -- Dave

Ah, but the situation here was a bit different. In this case, she basically said "I love blueberries. I love the way they look, the way they smell, the way they feel, their shape, and their taste. They provide 35 essential vitamins and nutrients. They cure all diseases and illnesses. They provide enough sustenance on their own to remove the need for any other food. I think that everyone in the world would love blueberries if they tried them. I know I do. They're my favorite food of all time. But I don't want to eat them anymore." To this, I had to say "If you truly believe all these great things about blueberries, why do you not want to eat them anymore?" When I got the most honest and useful answer (because in this case, there clearly had to be SOME reason), it was this: "Because if I eat blueberries, I can never eat any other food. And I want to try other foods."

I hope that clarifies the situation somewhat (despite the use of an extended metaphor). I welcome any further discussion on the issue. :-)

Don