I sent my application off today to the school I desparately want to go to. Williams College, in NW Massachusetts. It's odd to think that my entire life, everything they'll know about me and everything they'll use to decide whether or not I'm good enough for them, is contained on a few sheets of paper and a videotape with two monologues on it. There's so much missing about me, there's so much I just couldn't put down. The package I sent off seemed awfully light to contain 16.5 years of life that have contained laughter and tears and love and hatred and depression and joy. I'm a person, not a few sheets of paper. They don't even know that I write poetry. They don't know that I have two siblings who are African-American. They don't know me, and yet they will make a decision that will influence the rest of my life, and I no longer have anything to say about it. feel so helpless, and so afraid. The next 33 days will be torture.

Ki"Can't wait for December 15, yet hopes it will never come"ki