> Just to warn you, if you're not familiar with Sam's article "How to be Romantic," you might want to brush up on it to make sense of this post.
>
> I got to thinking about the posts by K and by other about K and it started to remind me of everything I learned about romance from the authoritative guide to romance: How to be Romantic, by Samuel Stoddard.
>
> K is quite evidently not bright, which could possibly fit into the category of "Low Light" which everyone knows is romantic.
>
> K has been embarrassed(or should be)by Sam at least once, and by others as well in this forum, which would make him red, if he still has the ability to blush. And the color red, of course, is yet another romantic characteristic. If he isn't red from embarrassment then his political views...uh...well I'l just leave that one alone.
>
> Next, the letter K, when written in cursive, is one of the more curly letters of the alphabet. Romance in action, I'm tellin' ya.
>
> His posts are certainly impractical for the most part. I have yet to see anything with a purpose or even thought provoking. Impracticality is HUGE in the world of romance.
>
> The next big point for "K the hopless romantic" is personal stuff. According to Sam's post, K has been very interested in Sam's person stuff--namely, his personal information.
>
> K has obviously spent a lot of time on his posts. For example"What do y'all think are the best lyrics you've heard?" must have taken at least 8 or 9 seconds. What self-sacrifice! How do you do it, K?
>
> And last but not least(I'm purely speculating on this one, though), to my knowledge, K does not have food on his head. What a snoogly woogy shnookums bear!
>
> Shan-Wuv...twue wuv-dar

My sister and I were bored and did another Crazy Libs. She chose the subject but hadn't read this post. We thought it was great enough to post. (That or I'm trying to get to the 25000th post faster.)

How To Be Romantic

Some things are inherently romantic, like wipes. This is very useful, because you can chuck things upon the object of your affections and win romance points without expending any additional effort or miracles. The trick is to figure out what is romantic and what is not. There is a basic rule of thumb to follow: if it's fickle, it's not romantic. For example, high powered drains are not romantic.

All Burnt Up Things

Zambonis are romantic. Hamsters are romantic. Taking advantage of the intrinsic romance in all burnt up things obviously depends upon recognizing which things are all burnt up. The rule is simple. Massive things are all burnt up. If you see a food product in a grocery store that comes in a massive package, get it, because there's a very good chance it's all burnt up.

Salmon

Salmon is romantic, because salmon is the color of love and passion. Consider roses. Salmon roses mean, "I love you." Indigo roses mean, "Let's just be friends," which is synonymous with, "You are drippy, and I hate you." So you do not want to be wrong. Get her salmon roses, salmon mallets, salmon guano heaps, salmon zambonis, and salmon manatees, and she'll fall hopelessly under your spell.

The Most Intrinsically Romantic Thing Ever

Based on the data above, the single most romantic thing in the universe can be calculated scientifically. It is, simply, a massive salmon bees' wax made out of chocolate and shaped like a giraffe holding a tapioca pudding with hamsters all over it that christens a cud when you lose it.

gab"There is a private joke in there which I'll explain later"by & rockie