> But there are a lot of things that can cause sexual arousal -- I mean, just holding hands will do it for some people. Can you really say that arousal should only happen in marriage?

No. God obviously made us this way for a reason. He wants us to be able to control ourselves. Arousal is going to happen before marriage, and a variety of things can cause it, just as you said. The Biblical principle is that it is BEST not to do things before marriage that lead up to you-know-what. Unfortunately, we don't live in an ideal world, and God lets us make mistakes and suffer the consequences.

>Speaking as a hormone-ridden teenager, I would say that it's not being aroused that's the problem, it's what you do with it.

Exactly.

>Obviously, if slow-dancing does it for you every time and you don't want that to happen, then not slow-dancing is a good idea. But for me, kissing would be have much more arousal potential. Do you also disagree with kissing before marriage?

My personal belief in this principle naturally leads me to answer, "yes." I do think that a man and woman's first kiss should be on their wedding day. However, I must admit that I have not always felt this way. I never had a problem with kissing before marriage, and I and my wife did it, before we were married. But I now realize that we were playing with fire. God protected us and it never went any further than that, but it so easily could have, and does for so many...

> I think we would both say that sex is reserved for marriage. I have a few friends that take that to mean "absolutely everything up to that point is A-OK." Personally, I think that anything that approximates the feelings of sex is strictly a marriage deal. I only want to be that physically intimate with one person, the person I'm going to be with forever.

Agreed.

> But if sex is an expression of love and commitment, then other physical intimacy is the same thing, just a little lower in intensity. Making out is an expression of less love/commitment than sex, and kissing less than making out, and so on. So I don't see how kissing could be wrong.

That I cannot agree with. Sex and "making out" and kissing *should* all be expressions of love and commitment, and not just recreational activities that people do for fun, but a lot of people who are doing it for fun end up confusing their "fun" for love and commitment. Which is why you shouldn't do any of these things until after you are married, because if you make it that far with someone (without sex, kissing, etc.) you already KNOW that you love that person and are ready to spend a lifetime with them. A lot of marriages go sour and end in divorce because they were based on a confusion of sexual pleasure and lust for true love and commitment.



> Anyway, I've rambled for a while (and I hope I haven't offended anyone!). Just wondering what you thought.

I know my answers probably won't change the way you (or anyone else, for that matter) feels about this subject, but I hope they make you think about it, at least. In certain areas, I just think it's always better to come down on the "safe side of the fence."

Grishny