> > Wolf "surely will not be letting you *or* Grishny come near Pixel, lest there be a transgression" spirit
>
> Oh, come on, I put a disclaimer at the end of that anecdote (see, I'm not even calling it a "joke," I'm that sensitive). I like cats. I used to have pet cats. I like to pet other people's cats. I think kittens are adorable. I would never do that to a cat. Your cat would be perfectly safe around me.
>
> Gri"serious"shny

Don't worry, I believe you and knew you were joking -- I should have appended a :-) at the end of that word "transgression". Though I'm not sure I agree with your assertion that narrative anecdotes have more "fictional flavour" than jokes; however I grok your meaning.

But seriously, now. If you dip a cat in kerosene or gas, everyone knows that the cat will properly go "WOOOOMP", not "WOOOOF". You might even get an aggressive mushroom-shaped fireball out of the cat if you use those particular igniter fluids...
What you really need to do is soak the cat in *rubbing alcohol* to get the kinder, gentler, more tender "WOOOOF" effect. Just wanted to let you know. :-) :-)