> Three times during this summer have I gone in search of a pair of sandals. Three times I visited all the clothing and shoe stores. Three times I came back empty handed.
>
> Where are all the sandals?
>
> I think it's a conspiracy. Someone somewhere is hiding out in a vast warehouse filled to overflowing with sandals of every size and brand. This person is huddling in a dark corner, grinning evilly and occasionally letting out a devious cackle while watching frustrated footwear consumers everywhere through a network of security cameras.
>
> This person's plan is no less than to rule the world, and this is the first step. The desire of the people for sandals will mount all through the summer months until people are willing to pay any price, at which point the evil plotter will flood the pent-up market with the stash of summer shoes, marked at extreme prices. This schemer will thusly become a multi-billionaire, hire armies, and overthrow nations one by one. Any who do not join with him will have their supply of sandals abruptly cut off.
>
> I don't see how this could fail, unless all of us band together and steadfastly refuse to cover our feet. I exhort you all to go barefoot, for the sake of the world!
>
> gab"I'm bored and I can't find any sandals"by

I know where they are. They are all here. They're not expensive, either, because there are probably five pairs of sandals here for every person. I live about a 20-minute drive away from Cocoa Beach, FL, and apparently, the entire footwear industry in this part of the county is devoted to servicing those who wish to go there wearing sandals only to promptly remove them upon mounting a surfboard.

That is mostly a summer business, true, but in the winter there are the snowbirds who come down to their condos and wear sandals and shorts while we who've lived here for a while are all bundled up in our jackets and long pants and boots - hey, it gets down to the mid-60's, on occasion! ;-)

Anyhow, you can't get anything but sandals here. No, that's not true. You have two choices, in fact; dress shoes and sandals. I was looking for a plain pair of casual shoes a little while ago; maybe something I could wear if I was just going out to the store or out for a walk. Nothing but sandals. Not only that, in the ladies' department, you can't find them without a ridiculous heel (I haven't checked the men's department lately, but I'm going to assume that it's not an issue there. ;-)). Or if you find them in flats, by some miracle, they have no heel strap, and I hate shoes that have no heel strap because then I have to do that weird dragging thing to keep them from flopping on the ground, and they come off when I run.

Um, anyway... all the sandals are here. You can take them, but only if you promise to replace them with real shoes. :-)

As for the conspiracy - it might be true. After all, Ron Jon's surf shop, a vast warehouse if ever I saw one (a vast *neon* warehouse shaped like a sand castle) is overflowing with ridiculously priced sandals. And Ron Jon's, while perhaps not having taken over the world yet, has taken over a mile or two of A1A and appears to be expanding still. So maybe you just never know...

-Fob"likes going barefoot better anyway"ulis