SQUARESOFT: Revel in the one-dimensionality of our characters!

SQUALL: My one dimension is "moody."

RINOA: My one dimension is "naive."

QUISTIS: My one dimension is "superior."

ZELL: My one dimension is "zealous." It's a pun.

SELPHIE: My one dimenson is "irritating."

IRVINE: My one dimension is "playah."

SEIFER: My one dimension is "bad guy."

THE PLOT: My one dimension is "predictable."

THE GAMEPLAY: My one dimension is "nonexistant."

SQUARESOFT: And, as an added bonus, we'll throw in a soundtrack that is not only lacking in quality, but is also used completely inappropriately! We'll use upbeat songs for sad scenes, slow songs for exciting scenes, and dance music whenever we can squeeze it in! But wait, there's more! We'll include a terrible, terrible vocalist for our Mandatory Insipid Pop Ballad (required in all PlayStation games), and play it over the top of a scene with dialog in it! Yes, it's an audiophile's nightmare, and it's yours free with any purchase!