> "The Spider in the Bath" by Donald Swann and Michael Flanders (an English '50s comedy duo)
>
> I have fought a grizzly bear, tracked cobra to its lair,
> Killed a crocodile who dared to cross my path,
> But the thing I really dread when I've just got out of bed
> Is to find that there's a spider in the bath.
>
> I've no fear of wasps or bees,
> Mosquitoes only tease,
> I rather like a cricket on the hearth,
> But my blood runs cold to meet in pyjamas and bare feet,
> With a great big hairy spider in the bath.
>
> I have faced a charging bull in Barcelona,
> I have dragged a mountain lioness from her cubs,
> I've restored a mad gorilla to its owner,
> But I don't dare face that tub.
>
> What a frightful looking beast,
> Half an inch across at least,
> It would frighten even Superman or Goth.
> There's contempt it can't disguise,
> In the little beady eyes
> Of the spider sitting glowering in the bath.
>
> It ignores my every lunge with the backbrush and the sponge,
> I have bombed it with a present from Penarth.
> It just rolls into a ball, doesn't seem to mind at all,
> And simply goes on squatting in the bath.
>
> For hours we have been locked in endless struggle,
> I have lured it to the deep end by the drain.
> At last I think I've washed it down the plughole,
> But here it comes a-crawling up the chain!
>
> Now it's time for me to shave, though my nerves will not behave,
> And there's bound to be a fearful aftermath.
> So before I cut my throat, I shall leave this final note:
> "Driven to it by the spider in the bath."

Thanks Brunnen_G. Now I'm never going to shower again.

fam':)'ous