> Merciful and trustworthy...a paradox when applied to the same being. Mercy implies a lack of fairness, for it is, by definition, an action in excess of fairness. I hate the feeling I've been given something in excess of what I deserve. I don't need it. I want to deserve...I want to be equal to. I don't want to be less than. The idea that things are deserved is one of the most beautiful, noble, and, unfortunately, ephemeral ways of existing, in life and in business. It involves earning, and hard work. Mercy requires someone elses hard work, and your own lackings. Reward the degenerates for their shortcomings and crush the strong for their strengths.
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> Truth is found in justice, the balancing of worth in actions, in punishments, in rewards.
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> One can't be just and merciful at the same time.

That's what Jesus Christ was for -- to resolve that very paradox. By granting mercy frivolously, God would be compromising his justness.

Anecdote time. A young man appears in court over a traffic violation. The judge happens to be the young man's father. It is clear the young man is guilty, and the father is torn between divergent desires -- he must be just, and therefore demand the fines that are called for. But he also wants to be loving and merciful toward his son. What does he do? As judge, he passes sentence -- the fine must be paid. As father, he sheds his robes, steps down from the bench, and pays the fine from his own pocket. The son had the option, of course, of refusing the gift given by his father, but if he did that, he would have to pay the fine himself.

God did the same thing for his sons. Sin was committed. Punishment was due. But God's loving nature did not want us to have to pay the penalty ourselves, so Jesus Christ paid it for us. As with the traffic violation fine, we can accept that gift or pay it ourselves.

> I hate the feeling I've been given something in excess of what I deserve. I don't need it. I want to deserve...I want to be equal to.

That's fine from a human vantage. Earn an academic degree. Earn a promotion. Earn recognition. That's because, for these things, we have to surmount human standards. We can be imperfect and still attain some sort of acceptable level of achievement.

God's justness is perfect. That means his standards are perfect. The Bible says that all fall short of the glory of God and that there is not one who has not sinned. Therefore, "earning" our way into God's favor is simply not humanly possible, however much you may wish to do it. Ephesians 2:8-9 state: "For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast." Titus 3:5 says: "Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy he saved us." The point is, there's nothing you can *do* to earn your way to heaven. No amount of good works can make you "good enough" in God's eyes. The only way to get out of paying that fine is to accept the gift from God of Jesus Christ paying it for us. (In John 14:6, Jesus says: "I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.")

And that's how God resolved the paradox of being simultaneously infinitely just (punishment is due for every sin) and infinitely merciful (there is nothing God can't forgive). I agree with you on one thing -- it *would* be nice to earn a way to heaven and feel as though it were deserved somehow. Conceding to the truth of the Bible, however, means taking an admittedly disturbing and humbling step. It means that we can't do anything to save ourselves. It means our destinies are out of our control. That's not a comfortable feeling. But what far outweighs this temporary discomfort is the unbounded and unfailing love of God, which, frankly, I wouldn't trade for anything in the world.