Grrrrr anxiety. I am very worried, but I don't know what I'm worried about. That makes me more worried. About nothing. And I know there's nothing to worry about, and so I laugh at my stupidity at worrying about nothing, and then I laugh but then I keep on worrying, because laughing & reflecting on having nothing to worry about isn't helping the fact that I'm worrying. So I continue to worry, and I have that heavy feeling in my stomach that happens when you're scared, or sad, or in my case worrying. I'm scared to go to school tomorrow but I dunno why. I'm worried... But, I am asking myself why I am worrying. I have come up with two answers: Everything, and nothing. On one hand, the everything hand, I feel overwhelmed because everything seems to be weighing down on me: My parents, plans, school, and all the work, people, grades, and stress associated with school, growing up (Man, I don't wanna grow up) and all the responsibilities accompanying growing up. And thousands of other, more insignificant things not worth worrying about...are worrying me. But, at the same time, it gives me a concrete thing, the fact that my anxiety is justified by actually having something to worry about, even though nothing I'm worrying about is worth worrying about. On the other hand, the having-nothing-to-worry-about hand, I worry yet have nothing significant to worry about. This is sort of a relief (or should be) because it makes me think... Hey, you don't have anything to worry about! Be happy! But I'm not, and I continue to worry. So the fact that I'm worrying yet have nothing to worry about is worrying me. Just what I need - more worry! SO. Worrying about worrying about nothing for no reason makes me feel like there's something wrong with me, so I feel bad. but at least I have friends I can chat with right now to help me through this weirdness... Thank goodness for them. Gah! *takes deep breath* Anxiety... It sucks. Silly zK! :)

So, have any of you ever felt the same way? And, have you any advice as to how I can get over my anxiety? I mean, I can live with it, but it's kind of aggravating.

Also, thanks if you managed to decipher that long string of confusion. HONEST, it made sense when I wrote it.


-zK