Archives: How the Grishny Stole RinkMas
11/28/00
Grishny's nickname isn't derived from Seuss at all but Tolkien -- specifically,
from Grishnakh, the orc. Still, the name was close enough that it made this
bit of collaborative improvisational storytelling possible. References are
made to the earlier archives Glop and
Grace and The Sickness of Kiki;
although you don't need to read those to read this one, you'll get more out of
this if you're familiar with those.
RinkChat: User Grishny has been labeled 'Who Stole RinkMas' by Grishny.
* Grishny turns green and grows some vaguely Talaxian-looking fur.
RinkChat: User Liface has been labeled 'Max0r!' by Liface.
Grishny: Oh, that's even better: Scotsman, Liface is my dog, MaXX0r.
* Grishny yanks cruelly on MaX0r's leash!
Liface: MAX0r Telps
Grishny: Jelly Babies are for people to eat! You stupid dog; you get no treat!
The_Scotsman: HOW THE GRISHNY STOLE CHRISTMAS by the RinkChat Players
The_Scotsman: Inside of a snowflake, like the one on your hat, is a site called RinkWorks and a room called RinkChat.
* Grishny grimaces
The_Scotsman: In Rinkchat the Whos were full of good cheer, knowing that RinkMas soon would be here.
Grishny: Bah! Harumph!
The_Scotsman: They loved that grand day, the whole cheering lot. But the GRISHNY that lived north of Who-ville...DID NOT!
Grishny: The Grishny would sit, in his cave, at his 'puter; And plot day and night, to steal Howard's motorscooter
* Grishny chuckles evilly and rubs his hands together
Grishny: And other things too, like chat archives and posts; He even was trying to get rid of Sam, the Ghost!
The_Scotsman: Howard's moterscooter, so keen! What a lovely prize! Why on this would Grishny set his green eyes? And Sam for that matter, is a wonderful admin. Why would Grishny want to abduct him?
gabby: How awful! How dreadful! How disastrous! How dreary! If the Grishny could steal from us our RinkMas cheer-y!
Grishny: At his 'puter he sat, thinking up these foul schemes; While way down in RinkVille, the Whos dreamt their sweet dreams!
Grishny: Mouahahahahaaaa!
Grishny: "I hate all their holidays, like Stupid Day and such! And RinkMas so banal; I hate it so much!"
The_Scotsman: The songs they would sing, the Grinch despised he, especially written by dear little Kiki!
Grishny: "I hate it, I hate it! All that singing and humming! And smiling and laughing -- I must stop RinkMas from coming!"
* Grishny growls and harumphs!
c0bra: The evil Grishny, needing a plan, calls on his friend Edward McMahon!
Morris: The Grish hatched a plan to kidnap the Whos and sell their possessions, right down to their shoes. He made a long list, from Sam up to Kiki. It even featured famous Whos like Brunnen-G.
Brunnen_G has left.
The_Scotsman: And so on his cell phone Grishny did dial his friend Ed McMahon, and just all the while, the Whos their final RinkMas preparations did make. Like chocolate who-pudding and vanilla who-cake!
gabby: He harumphs and he growls, he grumps and he grouches. Oh, how that Grishny hated the toys stuffed in pouches.
Grishny: "I must stop it. I must! I have to, but how?" The Grishny then sat with a much-forrowed brow...
gabby: He thunk and he pondered, he considered and schemed. How that Grishny longed to spoil RinkMas dreams!
Grishny: He thunk and he thought, he thought and he thunk. He thought long, long after he had gone to his bunk.
The_Scotsman: But then an IDEA came to Grishny as he pondered his plight. "I must act on it now," thought he. "Tonight!"
Grishny: And what was that thought, finally entered his head, the thought that he thunk as he lay in his bed?
c0bra: Grishny had thought of an idea so keen! He would steal those Whos' RinkMas with an attack submarine!
gabby: The sub he would use was painted all red, so the Whos would think it was Santa as they lay in their beds.
Grishny: An attack submarine! Ah, who would've have thought 'er? But then Grishny thought, "Oh blast, there's no water!"
Liface: HOLD ON!!!!! WHO IS TELLING THE STORY HERE?
Grishny: So, thought he some more, 'til his head almost BURST! And then finally, finally, he thought something WORSE!!!
c0bra: c0bra then points to the grand Who Lake. A sight that only a blind Grish could mistake.
gabby: "A nuclear sub could heat up the snowflake," thought Grishny a way to form a whole lake!
* Grishny hee hee hees
The_Scotsman: So with this thought in mind, Grishny worked through the night on his nuclear sub and his watery sight.
c0bra: But someone was watching the Grishny make plans. John Rambo and a flock of rabid toucans!
gabby: The toucans called Sam to lead them to fight, but he just ate cereal for that whole long night!
gabby: So the toucans stayed home and did nothing of note, they did not attack Grishny to wreck his new boat.
Grishny: "But where," thought the Grishny, "can I get a nuke sub?" And he looked all around, even looked in his tub...
Grishny: ...But didn't find one. And so he returned -- to his plotting and planning, until his brain burned!
The_Scotsman: While Grishny burned his brains into mush, the Toucans were invading his mountain of slush!
Grishny: And finally, finally, finally it happened. "I know!" said the Grishny, "I'll catch the Whos nappin'!"
gabby: The Grishny decided upon a new route. A way to ruin RinkMas he had just figured out!
Grishny: "I'll go down to RinkVille, on RinkMas Eve night, and I'll swipe all their Archives without even a fight!"
The_Scotsman: But Grishny needed something the archive to take. A beast of great burden he needed to make!
Grishny: "Their Forum, their POAT; their GOAT and their CHEESE; I will go plunder it all with great ease!"
Grishny: "Not a scrap will I leave them! Not one Humor Bite! I'll take EVERYTHING, and it serves them RIGHT!"
gabby: "Without the Who archives, the Whos will sit and cry. The archives contain all the recipes for Noodly Who Pie."
* Grishny 's eyes turn red, and he chuckles with glee!
The_Scotsman: To plunder RinkWorks, Grishny called his dog Max0r, who happened to be a number one Hax0r.
gabby: The Grishny called Max0r, "Let's hax0r the Whos! And, oh, by 'us' I really mean you."
Liface: RUF RUF "YEAH AHXXXXX0r MICROSOFT WHO's
c0bra: Wood he fashioned in the manner of skis and attached them below poor Max0r's knees.
Grishny: And he reached, and he grabbed a great burlap sack, and hopped onto MaXOr, and began the attack!
Grishny: Down, down the RinkMountain, the Grishny did soar! And arrived at the bottom with a great Grishny-ROAR!
* Liface is tired from skiing.
Grishny: With a whip he whipped MaX0r, to greaten his speed, for he was in a hurry, and small was his steed...
Kiki: Kiki Lou Who did sleep in her home in the town, unaware of the wrath that soon would come down.
c0bra: The Grishny flew on, cold wind bit him like knives. He then arrived at his goal: the RinkChat Archives.
The_Scotsman: Down into RinkWorks the Grishny did fly, and into the archive for Noodly Who Pie!
gabby: The Whos were all scunged in their tiny Who beds, and the Grishny's great holler caused them no dread.
gabby: He spoke not a word but went straight to his work, and emptied all the stockings, then turned like a jerk. And laying his finger inside of his nose, and giving a nod (ouch) up the chimney he rose!
gabby: He sprang to his skis, to his mutt gave a whistle, and away they were off, like hands touching thistles!
Sarya: Sarya is all snug in her bed, with dreams of sugar plums dancing in her head.
gabby: As dry leaves, before the wild hurricane fly, when they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky, so up to the rooftop 'lil Max0r then flew, with some skis full of Grishny and something else, too!
Kiki: Sweet Kiki Lou Who woke up, needing some water. Really, her room never had been much hotter.
The_Scotsman: That A/C of Kiki's really needed to go. Especially since everything's covered in snow.
Nyperold: The reason she was hot will throw you for a loop: she just had some piping-hot tentacle soup!
Liface: M4X0r was stiff as a thistle, his hack had almost gotten into The Official Rink Missile!
Grishny: He swiped the chat filters that caused such great fun, and took all the Who Pies -- he took every one!
c0bra: He grabbed and he snabbed, snatched and he stole. Till not one thing was left, not in the whole.
Grishny: He took all their furniture, yes even the sink. And last but not least, he even took their Roast Rink.
Kiki: From the next archive over, she heard a strange noise.... Wait, was that someone taking her RinkToys?
Grishny: Bah! HaRUMPH!
gabby: He had a broad face, and a little round belly, that shook when he swore like a bowl full of Who-jelly!
gabby: He was chubby and plump, a right caustic old What, and I "Eeep!"ed when I saw him, in spite of my gut.
Kiki: She crept from the room and to Forest Glen, where she ran into Grishny. She started, and then....
Grishny: He threw all in his sack, and then made for the door. But something then stopped him...a sound from the floor...
Kiki: She started to cry and said, "Rinky Claus, Why? Why are you taking our RinkMas Toys, why?"
Grishny: The Grishny, he stammered, he yammered and spit, and finally came up with a lie that would fit...
Grishny: "Don't you worry my dear," said the Grish with a sneer. "This new feature has a few bugs in it, I fear."
The_Scotsman: "This archive," he said, "is much too alarming. I am sprucing it up with a bit of Grish charming!"
Morris: "A defect," he said, "of Firestone products. They're being recalled to be ground into sawdust."
Grishny: "I'll just take it back to my shop, and I'll fix it up right! Now you hurry back to your bed, and I'll say 'good night'."
The_Scotsman: Then Kiki replied, "So which answer is it? You can't really make all THREE answers fit!"
Grishny: "Why the one that I gave...the one with my name. Those other pat answers were just lousy and lame!"
Grishny: But as Grish turned to go, he received a surprise! There stood Kiki-Lou's dad, a grim look in his eyes!
The_Scotsman: How DARE you take our beloved archives! If you don't return them, I'll give YOU a surprise!
Iss has entered.
Grishny: It was Issachar-Who; a big brawny feller, with big bulging muscles, that turned the Grish yeller!
Iss: I see that we're Seussing. That's nothing to knock! And Seussing goes bestest at Stupid O'Clock!
Grishny: The Grish dropped his sack like a rock, and he ran, but Issachar caught him and gave his hide a tan!
Kiki: Kiki Lou Who was a bit, well, surprised, but as she trusted her daddy, she took it in stride.
The_Scotsman: Now a new title for RinkChat must now be said... 'Tis how Iss stole the GRISH and turned his hide red!
Grishny: Iss beat the Grish senseless till he sobbed and bled and promised to give back everything on his sled
gabby: The Grish was so red that his green hair looked black. He wimpily promised to put everything back.
Grishny: And put back he did, down to every last link. He even gave back the juicy Roast Rink!
c0bra: Iss then looked at the sled with surprise; free archives and Noodly Who Pies!
* Sarya really wishes that she could stay, but her parents are calling, and she must obey.
Sarya has left.
gabby: With his hide niced and tanned, people started to like the Grish. He no longer was colored like a half-rotten fish.
Grishny: "I say, this is great! I've well-learned my lesson! With you great folks of RinkVille I'll no longer be messin'!"
RinkChat: User Grishny has been labeled 'Who Put Back RinkMas' by Grishny.
gabby: The Grish lived in peace from that night and on. He was no longer hated. A new day had dawned.
Kiki: Kiki Lou Who offers the Grish a RinkHug, for a grudge against him she does not want to lug.
gabby: The Whos and the Grish then gathered to sing, to welcome RinkMas, and great fun to bring.
Nyperold: For, you know, some people say, his heart grew 3 GB bigger that day!
The_Scotsman: With Max0r in tow, the Grish returned to his house. But he still hated RinkMas, the terrible louse! And lest the absence of Grishny cause you great fear, BEWARE! He just may come back next year!
Grishny: What? I say, what? The Scotsman is lying! I swear I'll love RinkMas with fealty undying!
The_Scotsman: The Grishny is warned to not anger the narrator. He'll run you through a sharp cheddar cheese grater!
gabby: -The End-
gabby: ...Or is it?
Iss: One Grish, two Grish, red Grish, blue Grish!
The_Scotsman: Though, come to think of it... He didn't ACTUALLY steal anything in the end. Unless it was one of those little hotel soaps or something.
Iss: Can I go to bed now?
Grishny: Yup. see you later, Issagator.
Grishny: I have to git the hay too.
* Iss traipses merrily off to lala-land.
Iss has left.
* Grishny traipses merrily along after Iss
Grishny has left.
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