Archives: Glop and Grace
12/19/99
Here's another one of those priceless "Dave makes dinner" episodes, plus a
failed attempt at accruing a second wife. No further commentary
necessary.
Dave: Ok, here is my new recipe: One bag egg noodles, one can cream of mushroom soup, one can cream of chicken soup, one can of tuna fish, one can of whole kernel corn, and one can of mushroom pieces. Sound good?
Wolf: Dave: noodles in CREAM soup? Uh... no go.
Dave: Yeah, sure. Noodles go with everything.
Dave: Whoops, turns out my biggest pot isn't really big enough to hold all the noodles I just dumped into it. This should be an adventure.
Dave: Wolf: It won't really be a soup--it'll be more of a casserole, because I won't add any liquid to the soups.
Dave: I think I'll throw in some broccoli too.
Morris: dave: eat some of the noodles to make room
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Dave: I have broccoli that appears to have been frozen since the late Cretaceous period. Wonder how that will taste.
Sam: Dave: No chance you'll discover, elated, "Hey! There's corn in here!" this time?
Dave: Sam: No, I'll be putting the corn in by itself this time, so no surprises.
Dave: Last time the corn came as part of the mixed vegetables I threw in.
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* Dave thinks this is going to be a really strange concoction, but judging from initial taste tests, it will at least be edible.
* Dave explains his recipe again: One bag egg noodles, one can cream of mushroom soup, one can cream of chicken soup, one can whole kernel corn, one can mushroom pieces, several handfuls of frozen broccoli.
* Dave says Oh yeah, and the can of tuna, too.
Grace: hmmm.. minus the chicken soup part...it sounds alright to me. :)
Dave: Grace: What about the tuna?
Grace: oh...yeah, I'd have to leave that out too. :)
Dave: Grace: Thought so ;-) Although I do know several vegetarians who eat tuna.
Dave: Grace: Which has led me to the inevitable conclustion that tuna fish is a vegetable.
Sam: Leen, on Dave's concoction. "Oh, GROSS! That's just nasty. Dave doesn't know how to eat a normal recipe of something. It's just disgusting."
Dave: Sam: Tell Leen it tastes good, and phooey on her if she don't like it.
Morris: i hate how people say "fish and meat" or "birds and animals" and such
Sam: I agree, Dave. That's gross.
Dave: I call it "Dave's Surprise".
Dave: Because if it actually tastes good, it'll be a big surprise.
Dave: Sam: Yeah, see!? You guys just don't know nuthin about good cookin'.
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* Dave would like to inform EVERYONE that his recipe rules, and he is eating it right now, and phooey on all you naysayers who said it was going to be terrible :-P
Dave: Sam: Just so I don't dissapoint you: HEY! There's corn in here!
Dave: Wow, this is way better than that macaroni-n-cheese thing from last time.
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* Dave says "Mmmmmmmmmm, noodly glop...."
Dave: If you live in Rome, and are a protestant, can you describe yourself as a Roman Protestant?
Wolf: Dave's Italian?
Brunnen_G: Wolf: He can't be, the way he cooks
Dave: Wolf: No. I was just trying to make a joke. Sorry, my jokes seem to be flopping left and right to night.
* Grace is now picturing Brunnen-G and Dave's dinner as one and the same image. :)
Dave: B_G: Just because I didn't add marinara sauce or olive oil to my dinner doesn't mean I'm not Italian.
Brunnen_G: Yeah, but noodly glop? No way. I can hear a quarter of my ancestors rising up in protest
Dave: Hehehe. Well, ok.
Brunnen_G: On the other hand, the other three quarters think noodly glop sounds pretty good :-)
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Dave: Whoops. I just realized that my duties as Official RinkWorks Sleazy-Guy require me to be hitting on Grace.
Dave: She's been here for an hour now, and I've not realized it until now.
Dave: I think I shall be creative, and use redneck to woo her.
Dave: Hey Grace, whet in tarnashun yo' need is a real man, like me.
Dave: ah's kind an' sensitive an' all thet crap. Yo' sh'd hoof it out wif me.
Dave: LOL!
Dave: "hoof it out". Redneck managed to make that *way* dirtier sounding that it was!
Dave: I guess I'll try Fudd, now.
Wolf: Grace, he's "married" to famous. You watch out for dese loose men now-a, y'hear.
Dave: Come on Gwace, you know you want me. I'm de man of youw dweams, aftew aww.
Grace: Wolf: who, Dave? He and famous are married? I had no idea. ;)
Dave: Nevew mind dis siwwy speech impediment. We couwd make beautifuw music togedew.
* Brunnen_G thinks that Fudd is the LEAST likely pickup line to succeed EVER ...
Wolf: Grace: Yeah, I have the full text of the "marriage" ceremony. Officiated by Sam, no less.
Dave: Grace: Yeah, but it's ok because I'm a polygamist. I can marry you too!
Grace: hmmm...Dave, I think you'd have better luck with redneck than this one...;)
Dave: In fact, the position of Beta Wife is still open. Are you interested?
Dave: You'd get to boss around all of my other wives, except for famous. And if everything ever happened to famous, you'd become Alpha Wife.
Grace: Dave: no, sorry. I'm not interested in the second position. ;)
Dave: Grr. That's what everyone is saying.
* Dave pouts
Wolf: I TOLDYA, Dave. Tain't gonna work.
Brunnen_G: If EVERYTHING happened to famous? Gosh ...
Dave: LOL.
Dave: I meant if "anything" happened, of course.
Grace: freudian slips are pretty funny, dave. ;)
Dave: But look at it this way, Grace: You get all the perks of being Alpha Wife, but none of the duties.
Dave: It's like being Vice President--no realy duties, but you spend you're whole career a heartbeat away from the Precidency.
Grace: What fun is being a wife without all the "duties" ??
Dave: No, that's not what I meant. You get all of *those* duties ;-)
Brunnen_G: Perks? There are perks of being married to Dave? Who'd have thought it?
Darien: BG: Ouch. :-}{
RinkChat: User Brunnen_G has been kicked from the chat room by Dave.
Brunnen_G has left.
Brunnen_G has entered.
Dave: :-P
Brunnen_G: :-P to you too
Grace: :-P cuz everyone else is doin it. ;)
Dave: Grace: You just don't have to do any chores or anything. You don't have to cook or clean or anything like that. You just sit there and wait to see if famous ever dies ;-)
Grace: Brunnen-G: free noodly glop..any hour of the day or nite. ;)
Brunnen_G: Grace: Yes, but wouldn't you have to COOK the noodly glop yourself?
Grace: Brunnen-G: no, apparently I just eat it, and wait for famous to die.
Dave: well, she doesn't have to *die* for you to become Alpha Wife. If she and I split up, you'd get her position, too.
Dave: So what do you say? Doesn't it sound like the best of all possible worlds??
Brunnen_G: Poor famous, I hope she realises what she's in for ...
Grace: famous has nothing to worry about. I'm not interested in married men. :)
Dave: Ah! But I *told* you I'm a polygamist! It's ok!
Grace: Ah! But I'm not! ;)
* Dave sighs
Dave: Oh well. I tried. Ok everyone, back to your regularly scheduled chat. :-)
Grace: I had no idea that by entertaining your flirting I was stepping on famous's territory. From now on, all comments will be answered with a slap. ;)
The next day...
Dave: Mmmm. Noodly glop is even good cold!
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