> > Fraud! Propaganda! Vile slander! I demand a retraction and the resignation of the perpetrator and his associates!
>
> And yet today, just today, mind you, I tried to eat a banana for breakfast and Darien positively insisted that I could not because all of our bananas were stolen by Monkeyman! He wouldn't lie to his own wife!

But I tell you, I have a banana right now! This very minute, there is a lovely yellow banana with just a hint of brown spots beginning to show. All I need do is glance slightly to the right of my monitor and there it sits, atop my scanner, beautiful to behold. Tomorrow I shall eat it for breakfast.

Hmmm. Perhaps Monkeyman is actually a Robin Hood of Banannery, stealing bananas from the banana-rich and bestowing them upon the banana-poor. Maybe that is why I am able to have a banana and you are not.

Of course, if this is true, then it stands to reason that your husband is the wicked Sherrif of Bananaham and is hoarding all the bananas to himself in his dingy castle while the peasants outside cry all day for bananas to no avail.

He should be ashamed of himself.