> I'd have to disagree with you there. I see
>where you're coming from, and I think that's a
>good idea for the smaller things (not reading
>your kids' diaries, stuff like that). But when a
>kid is out with the car, it becomes bigger stuff.
>I had (have) fantastic parents, and I wish wish
>wish that they had infringed on my privacy a
>whole lot more than they did. Kids need to screw
>up to learn how to become adults, but kids don't
>need to do some of the things I did. I wish
>someone had stopped me because there is so much I
>regret. I've turned out to be a fairly
>high-functioning adult, but I wish I had done
>better. I'm not at all blaming this on my
>parents, but if they had been a little more
>invasive (not to the point where I became
>extremely rebellious), I'd have far fewer bad
>memories. I think knowing where your kid takes
>the car is a good thing. Now, whether that
>knowledge comes via the government or some other
>source is another question entirely, but a little
>invasion of privacy is not ridiculous with a 16
>year-old. I was still just a kid, no matter how
>much I wanted my parents to think I was an adult.
>
> Vida

You're speaking now with 20/20 hindsight, though. How would you have felt *then* if your parents were just a "little" more invasive? I can't speak to your situation specifically, but I know I look back on my childhood and see a whole mess of things I wish I'd done differently, or things I wish other people had stepped in and prevented me from doing. But I can say that with my perfect hindsight of how things turned out. How different would things have been if I hadn't done things just the way I did?

It's the age old question of "if you had a time machine and could go back and change something about your past, what would you change?" For me, the answer is nothing. I realize I have the good fortune to never have suffered any major trauma in my childhood, and I can't fault anyone who would say that they'd go back in time to try to change some major traumatic event in their past if they could. But for me, although there's an assload of things I regret doing and a lot of things I might have done differently *then* if I knew more of the things I know *now*, I always feel like I wouldn't dare change anything for fear of changing the outcome to the point where I wouldn't like where I'm at now.

Try to think about it with your 16-year-old mind. How would you have reacted to more invasive parents? Might you have done even *more* things that you would regret today? Certainly there's some level of privacy that is correct for a 16 year old and some level of intercession the parents need to maintain. But is it possible your parents did all they could without unwittingly pushing you to more rebellious acts?

-- Dave