My mother was an avid bridge player. She was so good she sometimes gave lessons to other players. One day my father brought home a book with the title, "Brush Up on Your Bridge." When you opened it, the middle of the pages were cut out and there was a toothbrush in there.

My sisters used to say, "Let's play bridge. Howard, you can be the dummy." If you don't play bridge, get someone who does to explain that to you.

I finally gave in and agreed to learn bridge. So when a hurricane knocked the power out, Mom lit the lantern and got out a deck of cards. We played almost all night while the wind howled outside. Since then I have never been able to play bridge until the wind reaches hurricane force. I've only been in one hurricane since then so I don't play bridge much anymore. Besides, the only time I ever won was when my partner took the bid, and you know what that makes me.

Does that help explain why I'm the way I am?
Howard