koalamom, thank you very much for the great advice. I will try to talk to my boyfriend whenever I'm ready. The friend of ours that committed suicide was a very good person to us, and why he jumped off a bridge and end up killing himself I don't know. I barely got into any arguments with him, and he was always a gret person to talk to or hang out with. The minute my boyfriend found out about his death, he started bawling. It's amazing how one minute you'e enjoying life with someone and then before you know it they'e gone. I don't know how he feels about it now because we barely talked about it since it happened. I'm a little over it but whenever we have parties or if we have get-togethers, there will always be an empty spot at those times no matter how many people arrive because he came to almost every one we had. I don't know exactly why I thought that he would leave me...he's too sweet, sensitive and caring to do something like that. Our two year anniversary will be in August, and we've had time's where wh have been through hell and times where it was like we were in heaven. We have gotten in a few arguments, but since we've been together, we have been inseperable. When I'm ready, I will talk to him about it and if he still wants to be with me then that shows he cares for me and loves me unconditionally. If he leaves then it would tell us that he thinks I'm a mopey dopey wus and that he hates me and also that he's a jerk. BTW, I'll probably post after it happen's and tell you about it.

Oh and I changed my name again to Someone Kinda Happy and a lil crazy !