With the message board down I was unable to post my entire discourse on the life-long benefits of knowing me, such as:

1. Sex appeal. Look how incredibly cool you seem when you tell your friends "I know Byron!" (works on impressing the opposite sex too)

2. Health benefits. Believe it or not knowing me makes you happy. And we all know how attitude is directly linked to physical health, therefore knowing me = being happy therefore you are HEALTHY.

3. I make a great ice-breaker. Let me explain. how often have you quoted me claiming acting as if my witty banter was in fact your own creation? Numerous times I'm sure. And feel free to do so, I have enough wit to share with every person on earth!

4. You LOVE me. I give you a reason to live. All those years you wasted on "self discovery" mean nothing, because I am the true meaning of life. Knowing Byron (so you can look cool and witty).

Thank you for your time, it will be noted and when the time comes your deaths will be quick.

By-"ego tripping"-ron

PS. That last bit about death kinda slipped out. Feel free to ignore it (and only it, the rest is still true)