> (and I feel like a newbie, even though I've been irregularly posting/lurking here for three and a half years)

Reading this was actually a shock. Like you say, you've been around here forever in Internet time, and seeing your name next to a post in here is as welcomely familiar as anybody else's.

> ...the tight community of Rinkies who have been here for years, who know each other, who spend a lot of time in chat, who go to RinkUnions, etc. I'm not complaining about the existence of this community, I think it's great, and I only wish I could have gotten in earlier so I could have been a part of it.

This was also something of a shock. Except for the "RinkUnion" part -- seeing people in person as opposed to simply being represented by something as abstract as a printed name -- makes a big difference in how firmly implanted someone is in one's mind. But there are people pretty integral to the community here that have never been to a RinkUnion, and there are others who have done that and more who haven't been here as long as you.

I wouldn't say you have to log a *lot* of time in chat to establish the closer bond with people than the forum tends to allow, but you're probably right that a certain amount of time really helps. I don't know if your schedule or browsing habits allow for it, but you're certainly more than welcome to pop into the chat room and talk. I think a lot of people, including me, would be interested in seeing you there.

Anyway, back to the point, you may see yourself as an outsider, but I don't know anybody else that does. I don't.

> I post far less often than I'd like to, simply because when I do post, there are rarely any replies. Without any kind of feedback, I don't have any idea whether my posts are even being read, let alone what kind of reaction they're getting.

I think that may be a lot of what's behind why we're having this thread. You are far from the first person to feel that way. Most people probably have, including me at times: I put the work into what I think is a good forum post, and it goes without replies. But did it go without replies because nobody cared or because nobody had anything to add? Some posts are like that. They don't always invite continuing conversation. It's the same way anywhere else, only anywhere else you'd get a kind of default acknowledgement, the "uh huh" or equivalent, that doesn't really communicate anything except the signal that the message was received -- which, surprisingly, sometimes makes all the difference.

The way I've dealt with that is just to accept that that's the way the forum works here. It sunk in a lot better once I started counting the number of posts I thought were insightful and valuable but didn't have a reply for. If *I* was keeping quiet over a number of posts I derived value from, obviously others were, too.

But your point is taken. Dealing with a problem successfully doesn't mean the problem isn't there. So some people figure out how to work around that one missing link in normal human communication, and others don't. Some are more at home in the forum, while others in a chat room, while others both or neither. Just the way it works, I guess.

Thanks for the thoughts.