O great Hollywood movie making machine, bestow upon us thy summer blockbuster bumper crop, that we may see, react to and critique them as they so rightly deserve.

> April 22 - Kung Fu Hustle

Obnoxious kung-fu landladies? Wannabe gangsters? Whee.

> April 22 - The Sandlot 2

Oh geez, I can barely remember the first film.

> April 29 - XXX: State of the Union
> June 17 - Batman Begins
> July 8 - The Fantastic Four

The last gasps of the comic book films before the TV remakes start up again? Probably.

Wow, I think I need to bone up on my Batman. How many movies have there been already? Sheesh.

> April 29 - The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

So they finally decided to make this into a movie, huh?

The casting of Mos Def as Ford Prefect threw me for a bit of a curve, but Douglas Adams' involvement in the screenplay puts a little faith back in this for me.

I'll keep my fingers crossed. I just hope the director knows where his towel is.

> May 6 - Kingdom of Heaven

I didn't mind Gladiator, save for the length. This film is 10 minutes shorter than its predecessor, which is still a little long for a movie I'd see.

> May 13 - Monster-In-Law

Oh, must we perpetuate the stereotype of the evil groom-hating mother-in-law? :P

> May 19 - Star Wars III: Revenge of the Sith

The final loose strands are about to be tied in a movie which may be the first Star Wars film with a PG-13 rating, as Anakin begins his final descent towards becoming the villanous Darth Vader we know and love.

I believe that Padme will not be long for this movie.

> May 27 - The Longest Yard

I've seen and enjoyed the original, and with Adam Sandler involved, the resulting football game at the end could possibly be twice as violent as Burt Reynolds' version.

> May 27 - Madagascar

Err...jury's out on this one.

> June 10 - The Adventures of Shark Boy and Lava Girl In 3-D

????

> June 10 - The Honeymooners

It appears the new trend of summer movies is to base them off old TV shows rather than comic books.

None of them look particularly interesting...including this one.

> June 17 - The Perfect Man

Divorced mom with daughter tired of moving all over the place who tries to set mom up with a possible husband. Yawn.

> June 24 - Bewitched

I'm sorry. I just don't see Will Ferrell as Darren Stephens.

> June 24 - Herbie: Fully Loaded

Dang. This new Herbie's headlights/eyes make him look like Speed Buggy of cartoon lore.

> June 29 - War of the Worlds

Nothing brings a family closer together like a Martian invasion complete with total devastation and wayward chaos.

Points to Spielberg if he can make this work...and doesn't step in the red weed.

> July 8 - Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

Hmm...Tim Burton, the mind behind such films as Beetlejuice and Edward Scissorhands, is put in charge of a film about a eccentric and slightly demented candymaker as written by an equally eccentric British children's author.

I wonder who he's got playing Oompa-Loompas.

> July 20 - Kronk's New Groove

Didn't the first film bomb?

> July 29 - The Brothers Grimm

This ex-Python has quite an eye for fantasy. I enjoyed Time Bandits, and this film sounds like fun as well.

> August 5 - 3001

Just how stupid have the people of Earth become since he was frozen? Lower-IQ-score stupid or Ashton-Kutcher-movie stupid?

> August 5 - The Dukes of Hazzard

I wish I'd seen the show so I could comment on this.

> August 12 - Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo

Yeecch.

> August 12 - The Pink Panther

GEEZ EVERYONE'S GONE REMAKE HAPPY AAAGHH.

Adam "motion pictures are your best entertainment" Bomb