> > So in 28 days wintermute and I will be getting hitched. It's exciting and nerve-wracking all at at the same time. The planning is coming along well I think, but there's still lots to do.
> >
> > On a more solemn note though, 20 years ago this month my own parents filed for divorce. And though it was hard I'm thankful that I do have a realistic view of marriage and the fact that it *is* something you have to work at and take seriously.
> >
> > My mom and I were talking about this the other day and I asked her what advice she has for me about marriage. She gave me some pretty standard (but important) stuff...
> >
> > 1) Make sure you always take time to communicate with each other. wm and I are lucky though because with a 4,000 mile difference between us our communication is already very strong. We have to talk because there's nothing else we can do to get closer.
> >
> > 2) Never go to bed angry. We already discussed this and had planned on never doing that.
> >
> > 3) Don't let the little things get to you. (a.k.a. don't be too nit-picky with each other). I think this is just something we'll have to be conscious of. Not having been in each other's physical presence as much as normal couples, this is the one we've not encountered so much yet.
> >
> > All the advice was good, but I wondered if anyone else had stuff to add. We've got enough married people around here now that there ought to be a good response. And even those of you who aren't married, what have you learned from those around you who are? What do you plan to do different/better than your parents or friend's parents? I'm curious to hear other's thoughts.
> >
> > - famous
>
> My advise is that you value each other highly. Look for oportunities to please and praise your mate. Don't criticize each other in public or in private. OK. this is planet earth apologize when you do it anyway :). I think as possitively about my mate as possible and that really helps me to overlook the little imperfections he has. (Don't tell, but I'm not perfect either.) Anotherwords dwell on all the things he does well not on all the things that drive you crazy.
>
> Mrs_Grishny...Amy

Hi Amy I think you have already got really good advice on day-to-day dealings with each other. I've seen many good marriages sink due to outside interference. The two of you need to arrive at a mutual agreement on how to handle every single person with whom you are involved personally including in-laws and any children that bless your union. Sounds simple? It isn't and especially when it comes to your kids and parents.
You need to place the health and welfare of children first in both of your sets of priorities without losing track of the fact you need to be a united front and choose your battles carefully handling situations as a couple and not battle each other over how they are handled. As for parents-in-law, you need to be united in your understanding of how to be diplomatic and understanding with them while you stand for no nonsense by sticking together when any issues arise. Don't kid yourself, they will no matter how great his/your parents seem to be.
These things are quite a balancing act. They are do-able if you have a plan that you've both agreed to about presenting a untied front. In short, stick together against all comers or you could fall apart. Hope this isn't too daunting and wishing you every success and happiness in your coming marriage. Where love is, strenght also exists. Bless you both. LOL Banan