The problem with the hotel van is not unusual. I spend a lot of time on those vans and can report that they are often not on time, they tend to schedule 19 passengers for a 15 passenger vehicle, they mutilate luggage and then either leave it behind or unload it at the wrong place. A few of the drivers can speak understandable English, but most of those are in places where the official language is not English.

I was on a van in Los Angeles once and the driver got lost trying to find LAX. We could see planes landing and taking off, but he couldn't figure out how to get there. We toured much of LA at speeds up to 80 mph. Fortunately, the plane I was headed for was two hours late, but a man from Singapore, who was on the back seat, surely must have missed his.

Once I was bound for a Best Western in the DC area and the driver took me to the wrong one. That part could have been my fault, but the only way I could get to the right BW, was to go back to the airport and catch another van. Fortunately, I had come in at National which is much closer to town.

Another snafu was at least partly a language problem. We were in San Juan, headed for a cruise ship. The driver took us to the airport. Not knowing the area, I didn't catch on until I saw the tails of airplanes sticking up behind some building. I turned on my best phrase-book Spanish and told him "No el aeropuerto. Un barka grande en San Juan viejo." He got on the radio and had a rapido conversation with somebody and then turned around and took us to the ship. Somebody had given him the wrong destination, and it wasn't really his fault. I gave him a little extra tip.

Hotels often tell you that check in time is noon or 2 pm or something like that. But checkout is 11 am. They have a problem with getting the rooms all made up, so instead of hiring more help, they let one or two ladies rush around working like bird dogs to cover a hundred rooms. Then the customer pays by not getting the full 24 hours that he paid for. I have worked in the hotel business and know that most people check out before 8:00 in the morning. With a little planning, the problems could be avoided.

Another trick is "No Smoking Room" signs. Most of them are magnetic, and quite easy to move around. But the nose knows.

The next time you are in a Best Western, or any other such establishment, ask them, "How often do you wash that bed spread?"

When checking in, always ask for extra towels, pillows, etc. It lets them know that you are particular.

When you go into a hotel room, first thing is to flush the toilet. It's always good to find out that it isn't working *before* you carry all of that luggage in and unpack.

Never tip in a hotel unless the service is outstanding. Outstanding service doesn't cost that much more, but look what you are paying for a night's rest.

I tend to look for places that provide free breakfast. Saves time and maybe even money.

If everything is OK, be sure to tell the guy in the suit, behind the desk. The one who appears to be doing nothing is probably the manager, but if everything is OK, he is working hard. Trust me on that.

Always remember that travel is a series of problems and solving them is half the fun. Uh . . no, make that about 20% of the fun.
Howard