> As a father, I plan to give my children the reason why I give them instructions, deny their requests, etc. up to a point. There are, however, decisions that must be made, the details of which are not appropriate for a child to be told. In these instances "I said so" will have to suffice. I know that this is true, because I didn't do a lot of those "I said so" things, and I understand now why my parents didn't tell me why, and I have suffered consequences because of my decision. I do, however, want to make more reasons known to my children, and in so doing help them understand that I make rules and give instructions with the best of intentions, having been where they are and having gained wisdom through experience.


And then there's my favorite discussion:
"Why?"
"Because it's not appropriate for you."
"Why not?"
"It's just not a kids' movie. You wouldn't like it anyway."
"Why won't you let me just see?"

This is when I resort to, "Sorry, you just have to take my word on it. End of discussion." Of course it *doesn't* end there, but at least all I have to do is say "No" repeatedly and/or refuse to say anything more on the subject.

This is, of course, assuming that there's not some simple and obvious reason they're not allowed to see it, like nudity. If that's the case, I just tell them why. Often it's more difficult, though. Either they won't accept the reason ("It's not too violent! I'm allowed to watch violence! What's so bad about it?") or wouldn't get it (movies that are too dark or intense in mood or theme). Then there's really nothing to do except flatly refuse.

Lire"*not* a parent... merely an overexperienced nanny and big sister"lyn