> > * Dating is not federally required, except for infant formula and baby food.
>
> Dating is a highly personal thing, so I can see why it wouldn't be federally required ;-)
>
But surely you can see the link between dating and infant formula and baby food ;)

> Speaking of baby food, though, the other day I went to a baby shower where they played "guess the baby food." They had removed the labels from eight jars of Gerber's, and you were supposed to guess what was in them by looking at them. The weirdest one was a yellowish one with a slight pink hue. It was mac-and-cheese. EWWW. EW EW EW.
>
That's just vile. I don't understand why people don't just buy fresh veggies and put them in a blender, instead of feeding their kids Soylent Green and Soylent Mac-and-Cheese out of a jar.

> La"NEVAR having children, or as my mom calls them, 'wolverines'"Zorra

Get a puppy. We took ours to basic obedience, and once we learned how to train him we realized just why people's kids act like rabid wolverines. You really can train a child like you train a puppy, and most people make the same mistakes with both. People just don't realize what they do that encourages their kids to not listen to them. Other people's kids listen to me now, because I treat them like puppies, by only rewarding the proper behaviour.

Now we have a 19 lb "baby" who isn't getting any bigger, doesn't poop indoors, will be cute for the rest of his life, and will be out of the house before he turns 18. Plus at 13 months he can already walk on two feet.

The best part is that he'll never get some girl pregnant. We saw to that already. We think of him as our dog twice-removed.

In case you really want to see your kids grow up, we've solved that problem too. Our little guy is a salt-and-pepper mini schnauzer, so when he stands on his hind legs and spins around he looks like a disoriented little old man. We have the complete life cycle right before our eyes.

^v^:)^v^
F"but he's a bit of a problem drinker"B