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here's my realistic advise
Posted By: Jommeke, on host 212.190.19.17
Date: Thursday, September 23, 1999, at 00:36:09
In Reply To: Re: Young fool in love seeks advice posted by Byron on Wednesday, September 22, 1999, at 18:50:18:

> > > On my trip to Italy, in the summer of '98, I met a girl. She is one year my junior, and was part of our tour group, so we were able to be in each other's company for a good 10 days. Although we didn't get to know each other THAT well, we talked occasionally, greeted each other personally every morning, and even rode next to each other on the bus. At the end of the trip we promised to write to each other. Now, September '99, two letters from me later, still no reply from her. I have her phone number, but I didn't ask it from her personally. Our tour director handed out a paper, where everyone in the group wrote down their addresses and phone numbers, and she photocopied it and gave one to everybody. Question is, do I call? Is she trying to say something by not writing back? She must know I've been thinking about her to take the time to write two lengthy letters to her, so I can't use the old, "I was looking through pictures, or I found your phone number and spur of the moment decided to call" excuse. What's a guy to do?
> > >
> > > By-"sigh"-ron
> >
> > well, you've already heard my opinion on this one, but here it goes again, i think i've actually chaged it a tad, and i'll expand too.
> >
> > as a teenage girl approximately one year your junior in age, if not in grade, i would say the not writing back isn't necessarily a message saying "I hate you Byron, go away"... I personally am a horrible letter writer, so they might still be sitting on her desk waiting for her to find time to reply. Also, something I've learned from many times of going palces and meeting people and getting addresses.... when you get home, someone you hardly know seems a lot less important than someone you're good friends with (although I know YOUR reasons for wanting to stay in touch). So... well, I would say if it was a couple, maybe up to 6 months later and she hadn't written back, defintiely call. But, a year is a bit long.... I guess I'd say if you want to, go for it, but it'll probably be weird, it probably won't change whether or not she writes, and it'll probably be a short conversaton, because she'll find a way to get off the phone, because only a weirdo would call a year later when you've never even written to him.... on the other hand, if you DO hit it off on the fun, that's wonderful, keep writing.... but chances are you won't.
> >
> > uni"hm, if Byron gets a lot of good advice, maybe I'll ask for some too... the trials of being a teenager"peg
>
> Exactly my point! I'm getting threats of bodily harm from my friends for not calling her. Perhaps it's just their morbid curiousity in seeing me crash and burn. I'd hate to ruin the perfect memory I have of "her" by calling and being rejected. Hmmm. Anyone older than me wish to impart advice?


I'm older (25), so here's my advice, lol. CALL HER!!!
First of all because it will stop you wondering about her reaction or about the reason why she didnt write you back, and stuff like that....
And secondly, you have nothing to loose, so what if she thinks you are a weirdo? big deal! At least you had the guts to call her.

And thirdly.... IT IS ACTUALLY REALISTIC ADVICE!
Why?
Let me tell you about my love-life....
I have my current g/f since about 3 years. I met her in February 1996 on a party. We danced a bit, talked a bit, but nothing more. No address-exchange or anything. (i was then in my flirting-period, and wasnt looking for a serious commitment)

In April I saw her back on a street-happening. She recognized me and after a few moments of thought (i was a little bit dizzy, it was already late at night...), it all came back to me too. We had a friendly chat, she obviously liked something about me (dont ask me what! i have no idea! lol), cos when she went off, we exchanged addresses, and she told me the guy she was going away with was only her nephew... (hint! hint! hint!) ... I replied with a stupid answer (doesnt matter now) because of me being a little bit drunk... :(
I hated myself for saying that foolish thing and i was a little bit down when i sat on the train with my friends later that night.

So we didnt *stay in touch*. Untill at the end of June, when i was having exams, i was a little bit down about my love-life (my flirting-period didnt give me much benifits after all), and i thought about her... I wrote her a letter.... But she didnt write me back...untill one day (at the end of the exams), a few weeks later, she was standing at my door!!!
We went out that night to the movies (how original, lol) and 2 more weeks later we were an item...!

If i wouldnt have written her after all those months, she never would have come to me (because of that stupid thing i said), and we never would have been a happy couple....

Proof enough that you should call her?
Of course there much more details, but i think the story is already long enough...and i dont wanna bore you too much with my personal life.

Jom"yep-i-love-her-very-much-and-sorry-famous-that-bathmat-wont-be-ours"meke

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