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Web Users = Lonely People?
Posted By: Dagmar, on host 64.252.230.163
Date: Saturday, June 7, 2003, at 12:24:54

I've been thinking about this ever since a
friend of mine complained that I am never on
the web anymore, and in particular that I never
update my web site (for it would be
erroneaous to say that I'm not on-line, just that
I no longer communicate more than
neccessary on-line). So, I wrote a web journal
entry for my web site on this topic. However, I'd
love some feedback before I post a final draft,
especially from a thoughtful group such as
this one.

What do you think? Are people who
communicate with strangers on the web
necessarily lonely, as the old stereotype goes,
or not? Why do you WEB?

Here's my entry:

It's been some time since I've written in this
space. When I get get the urge to unravel my
thoughts out here on the web I never get as far
as the computer. The thoughts usually come
to me in the morning as I scramble to get
ready for my day, or in the middle of an
energized event. Then, as I walk to work, or
school, or back home to my WEB, I pull on the
loose ends, untie the knots, smooth out the
kinks of the masterpiece I will relay later onto
a blank digital document. But when I turn my
key in the front lock and climb to my attic room,
I find that passion has been replaced with
quietude. Somewhere out on the streets my
yarn ball of thoughts wound out to an end,
detached, and came to rest in a bush or on a
curb somewhere far, far behind me.

And I am content to let the thoughts come and
go, and lie where they land.

But then, here I am, writing to the WEB. Why?

Because a friend whines, "You never update
your web site! You never come on line! I
misssss you!"

I had to chew on that for a while, and think
about why I stopped. This led me to why I
started: essentially, lonliness.

First it was chatting, and a learning-to-code
substance-free web site. Pretty standard stuff
for the lonely back in 1997. Then, a couple of
years later, at the height of my lonliness (see
more on that here:
http://dagmar.noll.com/thoughts/ethan_frome.
html) I put up my first serious web effort,
"Experiment with Snow" (see that here:
http://dagmar.noll.com/living/enter.html). The
experiment was never finished, however, as I
soon found some relief from my doldrums. I
continued to write, however, reaching out to
my dream-friends and fellow X-Philes. Lonely,
lonely, lonely.

Then, in May of 2001 both of my computer
buggered out. This was very discouraging. By
the time I got my hands on another computer
the following fall, I had refocused my creativity
to the campus newspaper, and found all my
efforts directed toward writing and editing
articles. During the year and a half I worked
there, I fell into a nurturing romance with a
fellow copy editor, and when I decided to quit
the paper in December of 2002 I emerged
from the basement office complete with the
friendships I had acquired there and a fulfilling
relationship with a wonderful man.

Life was good. Is good.

So a friend whines, and because it is summer
and my time is relativeIy free, I type in the
address for my site (luckily it's my name, else I
might have forgotten it by now) and wonder
what is here for me now? Despite the
persistent stereotype, I know it's not just the
lonely who derive pleaure from the web.
Therefore, perhaps I still can too.

So, here I am. I'm back. Maybe I even have
something to say.

Best,
Dagmar


Link: Dagmar.Noll

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