> You guys don't need a Department of Homeland Security. All you need to do is put the Department of Motor Vehicles in charge of your defense system. At the very least, it would have meant 9/11 didn't happen for another twelve to fifteen years while the terrorists waited in lines to find out how to get a pilot's license in this country.
>

Terrorist : Hi, I need, um, a license to commit an act of terrorism.

Clerk, chewing gum : Do you have form C-124, DF-23B and G39? And a valid background check?

T: Um... I'll be right back.

*Two hours of frantic form-getting and filling follow*

T: Hi, I'm back. Can I have a terrorism license, please?

C*Chews, pause, hands form G39 back* Invalid request number, right there.

T: Oh, I'll just correct it -

C: NEXT! Go back to the end of the queue!

*An hour later*

T: Here's my G39 again.

C: You need a picture to go with your C-124. Stamped by the photographer.

T: And you didn't tell me before /because/?

C: NEXT!

T: I'll be back in twenty minutes.

C: It's 10 to 4. We close at four.

*The Next Day*

T: Hi. Here's the picture.

C:*Blows bubble* You didn't put your father's name there.

T: He's unknown.

C: I have to check. *Checks in the binder for the protocol* Just put in "Unknown".

T: That's what I did!

C: *Checks form* Unknown isn't a valid name.

T: But you just said... Nevermind. Can I just not write it?

C: Oh. Sure. Just fill this form, please.

T: Aaaaarg! Don't you just feel like machine gunning everyone in this office?

C: For savage machine gunning, please go to line four, ask for form M-394 and DT-23...


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