> I'm rereading Duel of the Ages (for research
>purposes, y'know:) and there's that reference in
>both Chapter 4 and 5 to Darius' recurring chase-
>scene nightmare where--
>
> "Darius must cope with destructive feelings
>such as hatred and jealousy which manifest
>themselves metaphorically as dogs that chase
>Darius in his dreams and feed on his flesh. The
>dog named Desire is portrayed as a little dog
>who feeds on what's left after the other dogs
>are finished, then curls up in the pit of his
>stomach and goes to sleep."
>
> Hoo. Needless to say, that scene is real
.*deep*. What I don't get, metaphorically
>speaking, is Why would the last dog that stays
>on with him be Simple Desire?
>

Ok, I'm going to try this again. I started to write a lengthy reply to this message, got about two billion words into it, and then Netscape crashed and left me with zip. I'm calm again now, so I'll try one more time.

I'm not really exactly sure what you're asking here (do you question why the one emotion that Darius is "left with" is desire or are you asking why a "simple" emotion like desire would be any bother?) so instead of actually trying to answer your question, I will simply write a treatise on the relevence of "dogs" in my novel, something I'm sure all of you are just dieing to read.

First, it is important to note (as I think has been stated here before) that the Darius Longshore of my novel is quite a different character than the Darius Longshore who runs amok through the omniverse in DotA. The Darius of my novel is not a very nice person for much of the story--he's predjudiced, hateful, and emotionally unstable. He's an anti-hero (something *I* didn't even notice until Sam pointed it out to me, although it should have been blindingly obvious), and the novel is about his redemption as much as it is about the events that occur during its course. Well, at least the novel *should* have been about his redemption, but I kind of blew that part, and Darius just sort of ends up getting "redeemed" for no obvious reason. (Read Sam's condensation of my novel on BAM SF/F for a very humorous treatment of that aspect of the novel) But I was trying, really I was.

It's a little difficult for me to write about this, because of the fact that Darius is based on me, or at least the "me" that existed four or five years ago when I created him. That bit in DotA where "I" say that Darius is "the image of me on steroids" is absolutely true--if I were to diet and weight train extensively for about a year or so I'd probably end up looking exactly like I picture Darius to look, except without the nifty armor and sword. Psychologically, Darius is based on the "me" that existed back when I started writing about him, and I like to think I've grown a lot since then and gained a lot of self-control. (The "predjudiced and hateful" part of Darius' character is purely plot driven, and is probably the only part of his makeup that wasn't drawn directly from me.)

Anyway, like I said, Darius is not such a nice guy. In chapter two he kills a man (basically in cold blood) and gets thrown in jail, only to be released later after a farce of a "trial." He hates all wizards, and yet makes his living guiding them to a special destination. Basically he spends the first third of the novel being a total doody-head, with only a few sparks of humanity showing through to point to his eventual "salvation", which, as I said before, basically comes out of nowhere at the end. (*Sigh*)

The infamous "dog dream" was my way of bludgeoning the reader with character development. Looking back on it, I could and probably should have been way more subtle about the whole thing, but instead I chose the jackhammer method of character development. He only has the dream three times during the novel (and the last time is different than the others, to show how he's "changed"), but it is hinted that he has had this same dream many, many times before, with only slight variations on the theme.

It progresses the way it is outlined in DotA, with Darius running through a dark forest, being chased by a pack of wild dogs/wolves. He runs and runs and runs, then goes to look over his shoulder, trips on a tree root, and falls flat on his face. He rolls over onto his back just in time for the dogs to jump on him and rip him to shreds.

The dogs, of course, represent his emotions--this is signified to the reader by the use of the subtle names of "Rage" "Hate" and "Guilt." These three dogs are the only ones named in the first dream sequence, which is basically a reaction to Darius having killed a wizard and gotten away clean. He let his hate for wizards whip him up into a frenzy, and then in his rage he struck the man down. Then he feels guilty. The dogs Rage and Hate always come together, and appear in every dream sequence. In the first dream, Guilt is a little runty dog who nips at his extremities while the bigger dogs feast, and after Rage and Hate leave, Guilt remains, and curls up on Darius' "exposed ribcage" and goes to sleep.

The second dream sequence happens after Darius has agreed to escort two wizards to their leader's compound. He's started to "have feelings" for the female wizard, who basically wants little to do with him. So naturally, being our beloved anti-hero, he has nasty thoughts about killing her companion and ends up having another dream sequence. (Also, there is a scene in which Darius sits in the forest not far from the two wizards and listens to them talk and basically has his emotions boil almost to the breaking point. Re-reading that scene today almost scares me.)

This time, Rage and Hate are accompanied by Desire and Jealousy. Desire is another smaller dog, who's bite feels "like the painful burn of stomach acid, intensified a hundred fold". And, funny enough, it's *Jealousy*, not Desire, that is the dog that lives inside Darius, and eats him from the inside while the other dogs feast on the outside. Jealousy is really scary, and is basically a shape-shifting, fire-breathing demon dog, and that sort of scares me to read it now too.

So, I guess the long and the short of it is that the note in DotA is wrong, as it is Jealousy who is curled up inside Darius' stomach, not Desire. Desire actually "slinked a little ways into the trees to rest," whatever that's supposed to mean. I guess it signifies that Desire never really leaves him either.

But, you'll be happy to know that Darius gets over all his emotional problems in one fell swoop, basically waking up one morning and saying "Hey, you know wizards aren't so bad" and letting go of his hate and anger, and thus (of course) solving all of his other emotional problems to boot.

And, I guess I should add that I no longer resemble Darius as much as I used to, as I too have learned to take control of my emotions instead of letting it be the other way around. Unfortunately, it's not as easy for me as it was for Darius, although I'd guess my change has been much more realistic. :-)

Oh, and in case anybody is wondering, I made up the whole dog dream thing. It's not based on any real dream I've ever had, recurring or not.