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Re: Issue relating to the Rinkworks community discussion.
Posted By: Dave, on host 12.235.229.250
Date: Tuesday, May 6, 2003, at 21:59:10
In Reply To: Issue relating to the Rinkworks community discussion. posted by Gahalia on Friday, May 2, 2003, at 18:26:22:

> It's more my nature to show that something is
>wrong and wait for people to ask rather than
>just saying what is wrong up front. What I see
>sometimes is that people just don't ask.

Well, unless you say something, how are people supposed to know you even need help? If I were psychic I'd be making a killing in Vegas or at the track, not hanging out in RinkChat.

I can't see how this method is going to work in an internet chatroom. Besides, it's not really fair to put the burden of action on other people when you're the only one who knows you need support. If you're bleeding from the eyes I can tell you need help. If you come into chat and say a few things about having a bad day, I can't tell if you just want to vent, if you want to talk, or if you'd rather just get past it and talk about other stuff. I think it would be better to be direct about needing support.

And frankly, not everyone is going to be able to help you or to even want to help. It sounds horrible to say someone "doesn't want" to help someone else, but what I mean is that we don't all know each other equally well, and someone who knows you better is going to be inclined to help you more than a complete stranger or a mere aquaintance. And we all have our own problems (Rinkies as a group seem to have a high proportion of "problems") and as you can imagine if you are bleeding from the eyes you probably don't want to hear about the splinter in my finger. I don't mean to trivialize your problems, I only wish to point out that people who are depressed aren't the greatest people to ask for support when you're depressed. In this case, misery doesn't love company nearly as much as the old saying would imply. Besides, RinkChat isn't a support group. It's a bunch of people who happen to like some crazy stuff Sam put on the web. That's not to say we *can't* double as a support group from time to time, only that you're probably better off talking directly to some of your closer friends than you are trying to get support from random people in chat.

-- Dave

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