> Thank you. I'm not sure if this is what you meant, but to, again, clarify: what I would really love is if people didn't just pay more attention to me because I said something, but to try to do this for everyone ...

Well, this is often the whole trouble. We can pay more attention to just one person, at the cost of ignoring the finer undertones of what everybody else is saying, or we can pay attention to everyone at the cost of devoting proper, full personal attention to one person. By the nature of a full chatroom, it isn't possible to do both at once. I know what you mean, and I agree that it's important to pay attention to one's friends when they're having a rough time. But I think you also have to bear in mind that only those chatters who are already your close friends will probably even be *aware* that there's something wrong just on the basis of a kind-of-depressed-sounding comment, unless you say so outright and request advice or comfort.

The rest of this post isn't aimed at Gahalia but is just my thoughts on the topic in general, and will almost certainly lead to the widespread belief that I am about as empathetic as Hitler. I know what my procedure is when somebody I don't know intimately comes into chat and says something that sounds sort of down. About a quarter of the time I won't notice at all, especially if it's a full room and/or I'm talking to a friend. About another quarter of the time I'll think "That person sounds kind of bummed", and then, yes, I will indeed go on to ignore them. I do this not because I'm callous, but because I don't *know* the person. I don't *know* if they really are unhappy about something, or how badly, or what they want anybody to do about it, or what I COULD do about it even if they did want me to. And maybe that's just the way they ALWAYS sound, every time I see them say anything, so I put it down to "Oh yeah, that's just the way that person always talks". And, given all this, if I'm busy talking to somebody I know better, then yes, I will continue doing that for preference.

So, yeah, maybe that person always talks that way because they seriously are going off the edge and require intervention. Or maybe not. This brings me to the only reason which I think *could* be considered a callous one, which is that sometimes I just can't cope with the need to cheer up yet another depressed Rinkie whom I personally don't know well enough to be able to tell from a slightly-less-happy-than-normal Rinkie, or an angsty Rinkie, or a whiny Rinkie, or a perfectly happy Rinkie who just isn't expressing themself very well. I really do hope to be, and try to be, the sort of person who will spend time helping a stranger or casual acquaintance when I realise they need it. But as I noted in a previous post way back somewhere, Rinkies and depression seem to go together like hot fudge brownies and vanilla ice cream. One's great, the other isn't, but they, uh, go together. Yeah. And you tend to believe you're not anywhere near being over your limit until suddenly you find yourself incapable of dealing with even one more molecule of it. It's not that you don't LIKE the hot fudge brownie, it's ... I think I need to stop this analogy because it's getting stupid. Basically, Rinkies who get depressed will do better with me if they are lucky enough to get depressed at a time when ten other Rinkies didn't beat them to it. And even then, if they're just an acquaintance, I will do my best to cheer them up, but I will most certainly drop them like a brick the NANOSECOND one of my closer friends needs my help. Sorry to disappoint everybody.

If I didn't love the people I meet here, and enjoy talking to them, I wouldn't be here. Likewise, I hope I can give something back when people need it. But I'm not psychic when it comes to interpreting undertones in chat entry lines, or in knowing what I'm expected to do about it, and I'm not really very good at providing comfort and/or advice to people I don't know well. If people who aren't my close friends want comfort and/or advice from me, they need to ask for it openly.