> This forum seems to me like a place that expects a lot out of people. Of course, spam is and should be deleted. But if you just look at the content of some of the posts, they are, almost without exception, very eloquent and well-thought-out. For me, it was very hard to match that level of sophistication in my posts. But I tried. At first, all was going pretty well. But now I've noticed that of the last dozen or so of my posts, almost all have either been deleted, not responded to, or responded to only negatively. So I stopped trying. Which is why I haven't posted in the past month and a half, because I figured that I wasn't a good enough poster to post much of anything on this forum, seeing as the rest of you really didn't appreciate much of what I said. My self-esteem was taking a beating, and so I stopped posting, figuring it would be better for me, and you all really didn't need me here. In fact, I wouldn't have posted anything on here again if it hadn't been for Sam's post. So I guess, to sum it up, I've stopped posting because the forum seems uninviting because I feel that I'm not on the same level as the rest of you.
>
> As for chat, the story is much the same as on the forum. I felt like a fifth wheel, like nobody needed me there, seeing as how they already knew each other, and everything I said was pretty much ignored. So I stopped going there as well.
>
> Just now, I understand what Gahalia was talking about, and I agree completely. I remember many times when I was about to post something but didn't because I figured people would think it was stupid and/or wouldn't care.
>
> Another thought that just occurred to me: It seems like everyone knows everyone personally around here. I know that's not the case, but it just seems like everyone has someone that they have a relationship with outside of RinkWorks. I don't. I feel like an outsider, and nobody enjoys my company here. I lift right out.
>
> So I guess in response to your question, Sam, no, I do not intend to retreat to livejournals to communicate to other people in theis community. I don't feel like I'm in this community at all.
>
> And as a final note, if my hunch is correct, and I am not welcome here, then please, by all means, say so. I will not be offended, as I am already assuming the worst. I'll only have the peace of mind that I'm not misunderstanding somehow, and I'll "officially" leave, sparing you all the the atrocity of my presence.

Enough other people have addressed most of the points you made (particularly the one about post deletion), so I'm just going to add that it surprised me to read that you feel unwelcome, that nobody enjoys your company, and you are "assuming the worst." I'm not sure what would have given you this impression, apart from the obvious fact that you haven't met any other Rinkies in person. And I would venture to say that those of us who have are still slightly in the minority here. I posted for three years (I think) before I met another Rinkie in person, and another year or two passed between that meeting and the next.

I'd say I am *acquainted* with maybe fifty to sixty people who are regulars here, including you. Now, of all those people, I consider maybe eight of them to be friends. I consider maybe three of those to be *good* friends. That isn't elitism, or an indication that the other fifty-seven have failed in some way. It's just the way friendship works among any large group of people. Some people, by their own preferences or the quirks of how personalities match up, would have ended up with more friends than I did. Some would have ended up with fewer. It still rather amazes me that I have as *many* as three extremely close friends, let alone that I now have a casual social group comprising about sixty people.

The important thing, in this context, is that offhand I can't think of *any* out of those fifty or sixty casual acquaintances that I even dislike enough to avoid their company on a regular basis, let alone hate them eternally.

Whether or not you feel like you're "in this community", I can assure you that everybody else thinks you are. I don't know you on a personal level at all, so I wasn't aware that you had not made any personal friends here yet, but I've seen you in chat and on the forum often enough to be aware that you're a regular contributor to the community. I doubt there's anybody who would disagree with me on that.