" I'm glad to be here. At my age, I'm glad to be anywhere."

"At my age, a good day is when I wake up in the morning."

"At 99, I still chase girls, but I forgot why."

"I don't have an enemy in the world. They're all dead."

After walking out to a microphone on stage, George Burns opening sentence was. "Look! He's still walking!"

When he turned 99, George Burns commented, "I had to give up cigars. They were killing me."

On turning 100, he said, "I've had a long run."