> > That's because I'm dieting down in preparation for a two-week cruise through the Panama Canal.
>
> Oh come on, you're not *that* fat.
>
> Or did I read that wrong? Um, sorry. At any rate, happy birthday! It's cool to celebrate it with you through the Internet and pretend I'm really there at some sort of virtual party or something with you. Virtual celebrations, of course, are way better than real ones, because gifts are free. :-)
>
> -useless"I got you a virtual Porsche!"ness

I expected that some would read it that way. The canal was built when ships and people were somewhat less broad beamed.

Porche? That sounds good, but I'd rather have a virtual Zundapp Bella.
Howard
PS I think there should be two dots over the U in Zundapp.