Once upon a time, there was a me, and the me said, "Today is such a fine day to visit friends." It was one of those beautiful sunny days that make all seem right with the world. It was a day every bird is the early bird, and they knew it, too, for they greeted the morning with trills and chirps of unusual enthusiasm.

I went to my wife Darleen, and I said, "Darleen, you are my friend," and she said, "You are my friend too," and I said, "Today is a good day for friends," and she said, "Yes, it is." And then I said, "I have a wonderful idea!" and she said, "Why, Sam, all your ideas are wonderful," and she was so very not sarcastic, because we just loved this moment of friendship too much. I said, "Let's go visit our other friends," and she said, "Ok!"

So we prepared to visit our friends. First, we baked a chocolate cake. We poured the batter down, and the cake rose up. Then we made lots of little paper bags and put surprises in them. We grinned to ourselves and promised that we would keep the contents a secret, because it was a surprise, and surprises are secret.

At last, walking sticks in hand, we set out into the beautiful day and headed for our friends' house. "Hello, birds," I said, and they twittered, "Hello, Sam and Leen," or so I presume -- their mouths were so full of plump, juicy worms that I could not make out the words quite clearly.

Finally, we reached next door. First we knocked (Knock, knock, knock!) and then we rang the doorbell (Ding-dong, ding-dong, ding-dong!). The door opened, and ta-da! There were our friends! There was Maryam and Gahalia and Rivikah and Darien and Ferrick and Sosiqui and BurgerKing and flyingcats and Stephen and Mousie and Faux Pas and Brunnen-G and Morris and Mia and teach and Cynthia and Grishny and Ticia and gremlinn and LaZorra and Nyperold and Marvin and Mensekemeser and Ria and Sarya and Sakura and wintermute and Silvercup and Beasty and Wolf and Shandar and Wes and Monkeyman and Matthew and and Ellmyruh and Minamoon and Kaz and Lynette and Issachar and Howard and Gabe and Fobulis and Dracimas and famous and codeman38 and Dagmar and Christopher and Randy and Bourne and ahmoacah and Balanthalus and dingdong and mamday and Dixie and Jaguar and roach and Silon and TalkingDog and Sundragyn and The Scotsman and Frum and TOM and Zarniwoop and Travholt and some other people whose feelings I hurt because I forgot them and even Dave, who said, "I AM TEH DAVE," because he cannot spell, and Ellmyruh wrote it down.

"Hi!" Leen and I said to our friends, and our friends said, "Hi!" and I said, "Today is a good day for friends!" and my friends said, "Yes, it is." Then they said, "Won't you come in and visit with us," and I said, "Why thank you," and stepped inside, because it is polite to wait until you are invited before stepping inside someone else's home. I said, "We have baked a cake to share with everybody," and Leen said, "And we have little paper bags with surprises in them for everybody!" and Ellmyruh said, "What's the surprise?" and Leen said, "It's a surprise!" and Ellmyruh said, "AAAAAAH CURIOUS!" and Leen said, "Mwahaha," because she knew the surprise, and Ellmyruh wrote it down.

Then Ticia said, "Today is so much fun. The more people we share today with, the more fun it will be! I shall go over to my husband's house and invite Don to come visit with us! Today is a good day for friends!" and everybody said, "Yes, it is," and so Ticia left to go to her husband's house next door.

Then Brunnen-G walked up to us, and everybody got out of the way of her hair, because it was a humid day, and she said, "Today is a good day for friends," but while I was saying, "Yes, it is," she said, "And also for playing Hanggliding Paintball," and everybody said, "Yes, it is," except for Leen, who is afraid of heights, and Morris, who is afraid of paint, and Ellmyruh, who was writing it down. Nobody made fun of Leen and Morris because they were afraid, however. Friends don't make fun of other friends.

So we all played Hanggliding Paintball, and of course we were all careful to wear proper safety equipment, because it was a good day for friends and a good day for Hanggliding Paintball, but not a good day for a friend to be smashed up and obliterated. Dave and Stephen and Darien kept trying to get each other, and Brunnen-G got a cap busted in her .fool, and nobody could hit Mia, and Matthew said, "Pants," and gremlinn got hit 12 times with a combined 192.3 pounds per square inch, and everybody landed on Marvin's head. Howard hit the most and got hit the most, not that there were any winners or losers, because we're all winners, but anyway he hit the most and got hit the most, because he rigged his motorscooter to the hangglider and was able to take off more quickly and get more air time than everybody else, except for flyingcats, who didn't need a hangglider, but neither he nor she boasted or bragged, because friends don't do that, and Ellmyruh wrote it down.

Well we all went back home, and Brunnen-G had a permanent grin on her face, and everybody had permanent bruises, and we all laughed, and Faux Pas thought up a Hanggliding Paintball storyline for his online comic strip (attn: Faux Pas: really, you did), and flyingcats said, "Kissy," and Sosiqui said, "Monkey," and Brunnen-G found a pile of money that Rivikah couldn't figure out so she hung it on wire, and just then a U-Haul was backing into the driveway with the lunch Mousie made us, but Ellmyruh didn't write that down because a police car drove by with the siren going, and she ran after it for a statement, and Leen said, riding by on her horse Timmy, "We can go faster on my horse Timmy!" and Ellmyruh said, "Ok!" and Leen scooped her up and put her on Timmy, and they galloped away, and Timmy bucked them off.

Well we all ate lunch, and it was delicious, and we all got stuffed, and gremlinn said, "We have enough leftovers for 27 meals," and Mousie said, "Well, I better start making dinner," and she asked if someone would go to the store for her and buy 43 pounds of flour, and everybody volunteered, because that's what friends are for, especially the ones that give you food, and then Dave said, "I AM TEH DAVE," because he can't spell.

At this time, I said, "There is nothing like a cake after a hearty meal," and everybody agreed as they groaned over how stuffed they were, and so we all ate a piece of the cake that Leen and I brought, and everybody was so full, but it was so good, and outside it was so green, and famous and Grishny found a keychain at the same time but, being friends, agreed to share, and Ferrick played disc golf but accidentally hit codeman38 in the eye, who was posting a link -- codeman38, that is, not his eye -- and Ferrick apologized, because that's what friends do, and codeman38 forgave him, because that's what friends do, and Nyperold clicked on the link, because that's what Nyperold does, and ahmoacah wrote a script to click on them for her, because that's what ahmoacah does, and Ellmyruh wrote it down, and Stephen took what Ellmyruh was writing on (in a spirit of friendship, of course), and I took it back from him and beat him up (in a spirit of friendship, of course), and Ellmyruh wrote that down, too, because that's what she does, and Lynette wrote a poem about it, and Leen ate some ice cream, and Darien didn't update his web site.

Then I said, "I think it is time for everyone to open their surprises!" and Leen said, "Yeah yeah yeah!" because she couldn't wait for everybody to open them, and Ellmyruh said, "Finally!" and everybody got a little bag and opened it, and it was