> > ...Speaking of work, I have a responsiblity to provide for my family. I'm not against my wife having a job and working if she wants to (she did at one time; now she chooses to stay home and be a full-time mom & homemaker) but I am the one that God requires to make ends meet for my family, not her.
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> Does this mean that if your wife had a full time job, and you stayed at home to look after the little one, this would be held against you? That doesn't seem entirely fair.

I'll let Grishny answer for himself, but for my part, no, I don't think so. If the family is prospering, what problem is there? But if a family is NOT being properly provided for, the husband/father is the one who will primarily be held accountable for that if he's not trying his best.

As far as "fair" goes, though, funny how "fair" is a word that gets bandied about whenever we don't like the circumstances in our lives -- whether it be over our sex or something else entirely -- as a means of complaining about how we think somebody else might have some aspect of life better off. It's not "fair" that some work for wealth and others are born into it; it's not "fair" that some are born into high station and others are not. It's not "fair" that so-and-so is smart and so-and-so is beautiful and so-and-so found the perfect mate. It's not fair when Little Johnny's older brother gets to stay out later at night and watch PG-13 rated movies. It's not fair that women suffer labor in childbirth. It's not fair that men get to pee standing up. It's not fair that you have to be 4'6" to ride Bumper Cars, anorexic to be a model, and an English-speaker to enjoy RinkWorks.

Sometimes instances of unfairness, most notably in human legal systems, are pretty important things to fix. But when it comes to living your life, you are who you are, not somebody else, and whether you're a Christian or not, you have roles and responsibilities to fill in life that are often not of our own choosing. That's the way life is.

If you're a Bible-believing Christian, then the very simple explanation is that God made us each (on the gender level, age level, and station level in addition to on the individual level) with slightly different (Colossians 3) but equal (Galatians 3:28) purposes, and we either choose to fulfill those responsibilities God gave us or protest and do not. If one believes God to be both omniscient and loving, one may trust that the responsibilities given to each of us are such that, if everyone does their part, things work out for the best in the long run. (Of course, it doesn't always work that way, but that's partly because nobody is *perfect* at fulfilling our responsibilities in life [that's something else that's true whether you're a Christian or not] and also because sometimes it is not always clear what course actually *does* lead to "the best" in the long run.)

I'm getting sidetracked: the point is that "fair" doesn't carry a lot of weight with me unless it's something like an issue of civil rights. If God gave me the responsibility of providing for my family, then I am honored, not shamed, by that responsibility, and I will carry it out as best I can without complaint. (Or so I should, anyhow, for recently I've been without a job so long that my discouragement at the fact that there isn't anything out there sometimes keeps me from putting my heart into looking. This thread is a good reminder for me about my responsibilities in life.)