Message Forum: The Rendering Song - A little song I wrote

The Rendering Song - A little song I wrote

Posted By: DarkNova, on host 207.50.92.147
Date: Monday, May 6, 2002, at 19:52:31

Okay. I forget exactly how I got the idea for this. I think I was thinking about a certain cel shader program I had found AND trying to come up with a melody to fit the sentence "I like pants, and pants like me" at the same time, and then they collided. Most of this song was written in a state of half-asleepness, with the TV blaring, so Don't Blame Me.

Possible cheesiness ahead. All parts but the chorus (Let's sing the...) are sung kinda sorta maybe to the tune of "Beef Log, Beef Log" from the Brak Show on Cartoon Network. Do not distribute this song outside of this board for now, please.
---

THE RENDERING SONG

Š2002 Tony Gies and Squeeze The Cat Ent. Studio

I'm a cel shader, yes-sir-ree
I shade cellulose, like Bugs Bunny
I don't want no Direct3D
OpenGL: It's good with me!

Let's sing the rendering song!
Oh, our benchmarks take really, really long
Our framerate's weak, with res at its peak
Let's sing the rendering song.

I'm a GeForce, look at me!
Hardware T-n'-L is really shiny
I can render realistic pee!
FSAA is really keen!

Let's sing the rendering song!
Glide is just for the VooDoo-card throng
Oh, DX is tidy, GL stinks at lighting
Let's sing the rendering song.

We're ATI, and we're scum-ee!
Frustration's a specialty!
We don't do no transparency (or "Our tech support's in Canadee!")
Our constant hangs will annoy thee!

Let's sing the rendering song!
Q3's got a lotta polygons (or "a ton o' polygons")
Diablo 2 sells, does Dark Forces ring a bell?
Let's sing the rendering song.

Athlon's fun stuff, whoop-doo-dee
AMD for you, and AMD for me
We gots da real high M-H-Z!
Athlon XP: Works for me!

Let's sing the rendering song!
Every mesh, vertex, poly sing along!
[Have not written this line yet]
Let's sing the rendering song.

Rendering options are fun for me!
Resolution and bump mapping
Detail stuff n' transparency
Oh, vertical syncing and we're tear-free

---
(That's TEAR. Rhymes with MARE.)

That's all so far. 'Tain't finished yet, though. I'll inflict an MP3 upon you poor innocent people in a short time, so you may want to run and hide.

What do you think? Is it funnies? Is it just OK? Is it "Eh..."? Or am I now the focal point of your eternal burning hatred? Let me know!

Dark"Inventing new music genres EVERY DAY!"Nova

Replies To This Message

Re: The Rendering Song - A little song I wrote - Barb - Tue, 5/7/2002, 09:16:49
- Re: The Rendering Song - A little song I wrote - DarkNova - Tue, 5/7/2002, 11:07:22

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Message:	> Okay. I forget exactly how I got the idea for this. I think I was thinking about a certain cel shader program I had found AND trying to come up with a melody to fit the sentence "I like pants, and pants like me" at the same time, and then they collided. Most of this song was written in a state of half-asleepness, with the TV blaring, so Don't Blame Me. > > Possible cheesiness ahead. All parts but the chorus (Let's sing the...) are sung kinda sorta maybe to the tune of "Beef Log, Beef Log" from the Brak Show on Cartoon Network. Do not distribute this song outside of this board for now, please. > --- > > THE RENDERING SONG > > Š2002 Tony Gies and Squeeze The Cat Ent. Studio > > I'm a cel shader, yes-sir-ree > I shade cellulose, like Bugs Bunny > I don't want no Direct3D > OpenGL: It's good with me! > > Let's sing the rendering song! > Oh, our benchmarks take really, really long > Our framerate's weak, with res at its peak > Let's sing the rendering song. > > I'm a GeForce, look at me! > Hardware T-n'-L is really shiny > I can render realistic pee! > FSAA is really keen! > > Let's sing the rendering song! > Glide is just for the VooDoo-card throng > Oh, DX is tidy, GL stinks at lighting > Let's sing the rendering song. > > We're ATI, and we're scum-ee! > Frustration's a specialty! > We don't do no transparency (or "Our tech support's in Canadee!") > Our constant hangs will annoy thee! > > Let's sing the rendering song! > Q3's got a lotta polygons (or "a ton o' polygons") > Diablo 2 sells, does Dark Forces ring a bell? > Let's sing the rendering song. > > Athlon's fun stuff, whoop-doo-dee > AMD for you, and AMD for me > We gots da real high M-H-Z! > Athlon XP: Works for me! > > Let's sing the rendering song! > Every mesh, vertex, poly sing along! > [Have not written this line yet] > Let's sing the rendering song. > > Rendering options are fun for me! > Resolution and bump mapping > Detail stuff n' transparency > Oh, vertical syncing and we're tear-free > > --- > (That's TEAR. Rhymes with MARE.) > > That's all so far. 'Tain't finished yet, though. I'll inflict an MP3 upon you poor innocent people in a short time, so you may want to run and hide. > > What do you think? Is it funnies? Is it just OK? Is it "Eh..."? Or am I now the focal point of your eternal burning hatred? Let me know! > > Dark"Inventing new music genres EVERY DAY!"Nova
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