>They are about the hottest food I can tolerate without physical pain. My mouth burns, and drinking water afterward feels just like how I would imagine it would feel if a bucket of water extinguished an actual fire on my body. What do less sensitive tasters than me taste when they eat those?

As all curry enthusiasts (or chemists as they are known) know, drinking water after exposing the tissues of the mouth to capsaicin (the "hot" tasting compound) tends to inflame the effect, not quench it. Capsaicin activates pain receptors in the mouth and makes your brain experience "heat" as a result without any real heat being there. The reason why this is pleasurable is that the body responds with a flush of chemicals that desensitise the tissue and repair the damage. The thing is, there is no damage, so you're just left with a tingly mouth.

Your best bet for a post hot munchie drink is either milk, plain yoghurt or orange juice (NB you will need a LOT of OJ).

>I hear no accent in my own speech.

Have you ever taped your own voice, listened to the playback and thought "wow, I speak in a monotone!"?

Bo"this..is..the..voice..of the mysterons!"urne