Grishny,

Thank you for your reply.

I like your theory about personal physical
space, and self-preservation being
maintained in the lack of it by guarding heavily
one's mental and emotional space. On
reflection, it's awfully hard to sort out who to
trust and who not to upon first glance in the
city, as there are just so many people to sort
out it becomes overwhelming.

I imagine I might adjust eventually, if I were to
live in the city (which I've thought of doing
temporarily), but at what cost? What, exactly,
would "adjustment" entail? Isolation?
Distrust? Insecurity? I am energized by talking
with strangers (can't ya tell?), and having to
close up to them feels very limiting. I'd love to
have the perspective of people who live in a
big city and are happy and healthy there. How
do you meet new people? How do you learn
who to trust when there is so much sensory
information bombarding your instinctual
sensors? How do you retain a feeling of
individuality?

It's interesting you should mention the austere
manner of New Englanders, Grishny, as I
myself and a Connecticut native. However, I
haven't been to many other parts of the
country, so I'm unable to make a judgement
on that stereotype based on personal
experience.

I have been to Melbourne, Australia, twice, so I
can tell you a little bit about my social
experience in that country. Considering that I
was in such a big city, I was surprised when
my hosts thanked the public transport drivers,
or chatted easily with cab drivers (the one cab
driver we had in NYC did not say one word to
Matt or I -- no joke!). I never even considered
thanking the bus drivers at home until I
returned from Melbourne, and I live in the
countryside where people are supposed to be
more friendly. Do you send out vocal regards
to bus drivers in Iowa?

Thanks again for your thoughts.

Regards,
Dagmar