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> I am about to pull all my hair out!! My 12 year old son has really been floundering this school year. He has lied about homework, doesn't finish his class work, and never studies for any test unless I make him. Way too much has happened to post all of it , but in a nut shell he just doesn't seem to care.
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> I have talked , warned, begged, threatened to go to his classes with him, restricted tv and video games, and only the Lord knows how much I've prayed ( and cried ) for him this year. Nothing I do or say has had any lasting results.
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> I have talked with all his teachers. They have been very good about informing me of any bad grades, etc. His teachers and I have done everything we can think of for him. He just will not try unless he is pushed, pulled, or dragged every step of the way.
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> I don't know what else to do. Sometimes I think I am doing too much, and that is what's keeping him from standing on his own two feet. I know if I back off though he will flunk this school year.
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> His behavior is even effecting my 7 year old daughter. She really resents him for taking up so much of my time.
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> What should I do? Keep on his butt till school gets out , or let him stand on his own and learn to sink or swim? He has been through so much in his short life time. I don't want him to feel like I'm giving up on him. At the same time I don't want to be manipulated and lied to either.
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> Jo"parenting can really suck sometimes"anna

Joanna,
Like Teach, I have taught a lot of kids that age. I've also reared four to adulthood and now have six grandchildren in their teens. (OK, Johnathan is really a step-grandchild, but I count him because he is such a great person.)
The best advice I can give you is to back and read what Teach said. I can't add much to that, but I think the first thing you need to do is get him tested. My grandson was very much like your son, until he was diagnosed with Aspergers's, which qualified him for some individual help at school. He now makes good grades and has good study habits. He's 13 now and you wouldn't believe how motivated he is in school, especially considering that a couple of years ago he was having trouble in every subject and everybody thought he was a natural-born pest. Now he really hates to miss a day of school.

I cringe to think of all the kids I taught who had problems like Asperger's and nobody knew what the problem was. Some of these things just require a little adjustment in the way they are taught.

I even think I may have been one of those kids myself.

Some of my fellow teachers would wash my mouth out with soap for saying this, but grades are not the most important thing. It's learning that counts. I *always* learned more than my grades showed.
Howard (retired, but still a teacher)