> > Two of my friends are mad at me. It's inevitable that my one friend that rides the bus with me isn't going to make up with me or vice versa.
>
> Why not vice versa?
>
> > It's kind of my fault that this has happened and I'm not sure what to do about it...
>
> Have you apologized?
>
> My general approach to situations like this is to lay everything on the table. I despise the games people play silently -- the out-waiting, the hint dropping, the calculatedly visible cold shoulders -- that are designed to preserve pride, inflict guilt, and somehow "win" a war of contention. That's not how friends should act. You can't do anything about what they do, of course, but you can control whether or not you play along.
>
> The best advice I can give you, since you asked for it, is to refuse to play. If your pride is an issue with you, dump it. (Well, to a point. Don't let people walk over you, but don't let your pride be the sticking point between a reconciliation between friends that you wish to keep.) That's why I asked why it should be "inevitable" that YOU not take the first step to make up with this first friend, especially if you believe that this is "kind of" your fault. Would an apology -- to both of them -- be out of order?
>
> Maybe apologies are warranted all around, and you're expecting apologies from them. In that case, if it were me, I'd apologize anyway, then try to explain civilly why I thought I was wronged, although it takes some careful attention to your tone and point of emphasis to convey the fact that the apology YOU are giving is what you're counting most important and the one you feel due you is secondary. Which is as it would be, unless pride is a sticking point. If your friends refuse a sincere apology, you may want to think twice about having them as friends (at the same time, although I think it wrong not to accept an apology, it's also wrong for the apologizer to resent its rejection). If they accept your apology but do not apologize to you, then think again about whether or not you're really deserved one, and if you maintain that you are, think about whether it's really important enough to push. It may not be. It may be one of those things that you just have to let roll off your back and forget. If it is, try again to explain and air everything out.
>
> Now, if an apology from you truly *isn't* warranted, could this be from a misunderstanding? If so, try to explain the misunderstanding. Try to explain what who thought when and how nobody really did anything terribly wrong given the circumstances and their individual understandings of things. Another thing you can try: apologize *anyway*. I don't mean you should ever apologize insincerely, but are you not sorry for the hurt that has been caused here?
>
> The third possibility is that this is neither truly your fault nor a misunderstanding but merely your friends being unreasonable deliberately and without cause. In that event, I would advise you to pull out immediately. "Lay it all out in the open" is the unfailing rule here, so tell them, civilly, why you think this whole thing is ridiculous and that you don't feel you deserve this treatment, don't think it's healthy to have friends that do not value friendship. Don't be resentful or bitter, but be clear. And then be prepared to accept either their own apologies or their lack, and proceed with or without their friendship. To do this, you have to be prepared to accept either outcome and assume the latter.
>
> To recap, the running theme, no matter what the exact situation, is to get everything out in the open, don't let your own pride be a sticking point, and communicate meaningfully instead of playing along with cold shoulder games.

Whether or not this advice is accepted by the person you intended it for, it's something I need to hear. Thank you, Sam.

Lyn"don't know why I feel obligated to say that... but god is poking me a lot recently"ette