MY FIRST JOB.

BOSS: Hey! Want to work 116-hour weeks for low pay and no overtime, and give up the right to eat and sleep and take holidays?

ME: Yeah? What's the catch?

BOSS: We might send you to third-world nations every couple of years.

ME: Sure. [works there for almost five years]

ME: Oh. It wasn't worth it.


MY SECOND JOB.

BOSS: We want you to sit around surfing the web all day at our expense until somebody needs to know how to spell "Whangaparaoa Peninsula." In return, you get to consort with the rich and famous of yacht racing, and all the money you can eat.

ME: [discovers Rinkworks and is henceforth lost to the real world.]


MY THIRD JOB.

BOSS: Your vast experience in doing nothing all day and getting paid too much for it is exactly what we need.

ME: What do you want me to do?

BOSS: Do? Ha ha.

ME: [does nothing all day and gets paid too much for it.]


MY CURRENT JOB.

ME: I'm sick of doing nothing. I want a change. [takes job working 116-hour weeks for low pay and no overtime, gives up right to eat and sleep and take holidays, and spends working day dealing with drunks from third-world nations.]

ME: Finally I'm getting somewhere in life.