Ever since I moved into my new flat, one particular feature of it has been somewhat unnerving. Every time I went past the window alongside the carport roof, I could see, just above head level, the mangled corpse of a teddy bear lying face-down in the gutter. You couldn't reach it from the window, and you couldn't get up onto the carport roof from outside or poke it down with a stick because of the angle and distance.

It was vaguely disturbing, as if the Mafia had run out of gory horse heads and decided to present a kinder, gentler image with their death threats.

Today I finally managed to reach the teddy bear and get it off the roof. It must have been there for *years* -- all the colours on its back have faded to grey, and its back is all stiff and cruddy and nasty from years out in the sun and rain, whereas its front is all disgusting and covered in decomposing gutter glop. I brushed most of it off for this photo, but he could still do with a trip through the washing machine before I send him to Darien as a belated wedding present.

Brunnen-"I'm sure it's just what they always wanted"G