> So, if you're in my boat, or you were, tell me:
> are these the best years?

Chris. This is a very interesting and difficult question. I have great admiration for your inquiry, and at the same time I'm quite envious... I certainly would never have had the foresight to ask that question at your age!

My impression is that young people are sometimes advised by their elders, "These are the best years of your life, dear. Make the most of it while you can!" But the same people who express these sentiments are the ones who look to their pasts with nostalgia and regret. They feel hemmed in by the constant demands of having children, of going every day to a job they don't like, and of paying off the mortgage, and the car, and the bills. These are the adults who'd agree with you, Chris, when you say that at your age there's "no real responsibilities, nobody to care for, stuff like that."

I think though that it's more a matter of attitude and perspective as to whether you're enjoying -- or could better enjoy -- your life or not. If you carried the baggage of the unfulfilled dreams of youth, of course you'd feel regret. I choose to take things one day at a time, and don't worry too much about any ominous futures. Live in the present, savour the moment -- accept the daily challenges as they come. Some days are always going to be better than others.

One note about growing up, finishing school, and finding a job. I'm not surprised that you find school stressful. I've been getting the impression that high-school science students don't just take pre-cal these days -- they can take an entire course of differential equations by junior high! A survey at my old high school once showed that students were getting slammed with term tests and pop quizzes up to 9 times a week. That certainly is a lot of pressure.

But it doesn't stop there. I think a lot of people define themselves -- their sense of self -- by the kind of work they have. So, many parents (like mine did) encourage their kids to choose a high-paying, high-status profession like becoming a medical doctor, a chartered accountant, or an A-level manager of an engineering company. However these are all very stressful jobs and even if you go into them today, it isn't guaranteed you'll get a good salary. I used to be in neurosurgery research but got freaked out by the incessant politicking (medicine is VERY competitive). I went into metallography and metallurgy instead, and now I'm much happier. To top it off, my sister stayed and got her Ph.D in Neuroanatomy, so now she's a post-doc. But guess what? The way the market is going, she's STILL earning minimum wage!

[Incidentally, if I might interject a bit of financial advice here... NOW's the best time for you to start investing in mutual funds for your old age. :) I calculated that for a person to enjoy the lifestyle of someone earning a modest $25,000 annual salary today, you'd need some 2.3 million dollars saved for when you retire. A person who starts investing savings at the age of 18 will end up with a LOT more $$$ mileage than someone who only starts when he's 35. Such are the advantages of very long-term compounded interest :]

I'm not even going to go into the sobering "total lifestyle mindwarp" that having children has on people. Suffice to say that you should follow the Chinese adage: choose your interests carefully and a profession you love, and your best years will span your entire life. Start with the advantages that flow from the strength and flexibility of youth. Then keep your eyes open for opportunity as it comes, because it *will* come in forms you hadn't planned for, and did not expect. Carpe diem, and good luck...

LOL... Chris, one more thing. You may think you'd "die in the streets without your parents". I remember thinking the exact same thing: the future seemed like such a big black hole. But you wouldn't die like that, if the worst happened; you'd adapt of course. The real question you've been asking is whether to appreciate better What you're doing now, and Where you'll be going. Like I said, this is even more precious at this point because all the possibilities still stretch before you. In asking the question now, you are far wiser than I. :)

Just my 3¢'s worth...

Wolfspirit
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P.S. The previous was a gratuitous opinion freely solicited.
And Now for A View Completely Different: I asked my spouse whether *he* thought adolescence comprised "the best years of life". Well, his answer is "No... definitely not." The surprise reasoning? Dave feels that at that age, some guys are under the influence of enough raging hormones that their brains are short-circuited and their judgment suspect. (Could be... I've always said that one reason high-school students do something as stupid as taking drugs is that they're unknowingly trying to self-medicate, for unbalanced neurochemistry). So my husband thinks that "real life" only *begins* when you reach age 25 and finally sober up. :)

"More than Just the Best Yours of Life" (c) Donna W Fox, Montreal, 7/25/99. For discussion, kindly contact author.