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Re: Small Talk
Posted By: koalamom, on host 4.33.111.69
Date: Wednesday, November 28, 2001, at 20:56:29
In Reply To: Small Talk posted by Help on Tuesday, November 27, 2001, at 17:12:19:

> Do you like making small talk? I for one, hate it. It's usually forced, and feeble dribble.

Well, yes and no. It's not always comfortable, but sometimes it can lead to interesting conversation, if you can get beyond the "feeble dribble". If you or the person you're talking to are not naturally talkative and/or outgoing, it can seem forced...but it's, well, *neccessary* to grease the wheels of conversation. (Assuming you don't have any natural conversation starters going for you like, um, a circus parade passing by or something nearby catching on fire, for instance ;-)). Like anything else, it just takes practice to do well, and both parties have to co-operate to some degree.

> I would rather sit in silence, and so would the person who I would be talking to in that situation.

Unless you're telepathic, or are getting clear body language from the other person saying "leave me alone", how do you *know* the other person would rather sit in silence? Maybe they'd like to talk, but are just as uncomfortable getting started at it as you are.

Perhaps "situation" is the key word here. People don't usually make small talk while riding in elevators, nor are they expected to. But if you and I were sitting together at a dinner party, I would expect to exchange a few words and would feel uncomfortable (and rude) if we didn't.

And I'm assuming that we're talking about stranger or acquaintance conversation here, not close friends or family. Friends & family, well, you *need* some comfortable silences there, just as much as you need small talk sometimes with strangers or acquaintances.

koala"Hot enough for you? How bout them Lakers! Think the Rams will make it to the playoffs this year?"mom

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