> > te (don't you people read Emily Post?) ach
>
> Etiquette is *weird*. That differentiation sounds a lot like you're telling the groom "Woo hoo, you won!" and telling the bride "Well, best of luck, you'll need it, I hope the rest of your life doesn't suck TOO much." I'll stick to "congratulations" for both. Besides, "best wishes" is so blechyly like a generic greeting card you buy for somebody you can't be bothered saying something heartfelt to.
>
> Brunnen-"the only important rules of etiquette are the ones you learn when you're three, like don't steal, don't take off your clothes in public, don't bite people"G

In this day of the Independent Woman, it's hard for us to understand how "congratulations" could be construed as an insult, but apparently it was.

As I understand it, the original taboo against conveying congratulations to the bride was to avoid any implication of *relief*, such as, "Thank God, you *finally* got someone to marry you, we were wondering if *anyone* would ever take you off your parent's hands"...etc, back in the days when everywoman's primary goal was To Get a Husband.

This kind of thinking is (I hope) a thing of the past, but the tradition lingers...

koala"oops, off to the Feminazi thread again"mom