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Re: Disney, "he," and Femi-nazis
Posted By: koalamom, on host 4.35.16.96
Date: Monday, October 8, 2001, at 18:54:20
In Reply To: Re: Disney, "he," and Femi-nazis posted by Sosiqui on Monday, October 8, 2001, at 10:30:25:

>
> And then there are the women (or should it be something else? How do they pluralize 'womyn', anyway?) who get extremely insulted and huffy if a man happens to, say, hold a door open for them. I encountered THAT particular issue during a discussion in my humanities class last semester. One girl went off about how it was condescending, implied weakness, etc. That view of it surprised me - I had always (and still do) looked at such actions as showing courtesy and respect, not insult. To me, a man opening a door for a women doesn't indicate that he thinks she's not strong enough to open it - it indicates politeness. If anything, it's always struck me as being deferential.

If a feminist's goal is to be treated equally, then being *deferred to* is not acceptable.
While she should not be discriminated against simply for being a female, neither should she be granted any special treatment simply for being a female*. The view is that an in an *equal* relationship she would be holding the door open for him as often as he does for her, out of common courtesy.

Furthermore, it would be argued that holding a door open for someone may *not* be quite the favor people think it is. It can imply not only (physical) weakness on the part of the holdee, but also grants authority to the door-holder.
Consider:

--a teacher opens door for students to enter, not the other way around
--a doctor/nurse/medical technician ushers patient into treatment room first, then follows
--parents shepherd children through the door in front of them
--observe behavior at business meetings--who goes in first?--the subordinate, followed by the supervisor.

You can take this last example to the extreme and find it still holds pretty true in principle, if not in (literal) particulars--who enters first when the President addresses Congress, or when the Queen opens Parliment? The subordinates are in first, waiting for the authority figure, right?

koala"a lot of gamesmanship just to get through a door"mom

>
> I suppose that goes to show that ANYTHING can be made insulting if you put your mind to it.
>
> Sosi"protest that the sky is blue, a shade traditionally associated with male children! Sure."qui


*at least, this is how the rhetoric *used* to go.
These days, I have a suspicion the official agenda (if there is one) is more along the lines of "treat me equally *and* grant me special favors"

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