-Saturday, July 28, 2001-

6:53 a.m.

We set the alarm for 7, but we were all up before then. I woke up at 5:40, and Sam and Leen both saw me peering very closely at the clock without my glasses on. I managed to doze off again but then woke up at 6:30.

8:20 a.m.

We're in the conference room now, waiting for people to slowly drift in. The official starting time for Darien and Amber was 8:30, but Sam told everyone else, "8:30 or 9." After enough people said the time aloud, it mutated into 8:39. Dave, Heidi, Stephen, and Mia (called Stephanie from here on) got back from Boston very late last night, and Dave is extremely tired. He and Stephen roomed together and stayed up until 6:30 because they were talking. This meant that they got a grand total of one hour of sleep.

"As soon as Stephen shut up, I went to sleep," Dave said. He's just like the Dave I know online, but getting an in-person Dave hug ruled. When I look at people, I don't tend to notice eyes, but Dave is an exception. His eyes are so amazingly blue that they can't be missed. Dave is wearing a black shirt with white writing that says, "IM L33T LIKE JEFFK." Almost every time Dave looks at me, he makes the open-mouthed, wide-eyed expression that resembles the surprised AIM smiley.

Heidi, Stephen, and Stephanie ate lobster in Boston last night, and they said Heidi has no problem talking to complete strangers. Dave explained it this way: "Mousie says, 'I'm going to go talk to that guy over there,' and then she does."

Ticia and Don drove all day and all night, arriving at 6 this morning. Ticia woke Stephanie up when she got in, and I guess Stephanie wasn't exactly thrilled, since she'd been out running around in Boston for half the night.

8:40 a.m.

Stephen, who is also very tired, wants to burn my notebook. He said he'd burn down the hotel, if need be.

Rivikah is here now. She and Stephanie shared a hotel room in the Comfort Inn, and Stephanie just came into the conference room, too. She's wearing a purple shirt that's exactly like Ticia's, and they brought one for Leen, too. It's a Weber State shirt that says "I bleed purple" on the back. It's definitely a Leen shirt.

8:47 a.m.

Stephen just came back from a trip to the breakfast room, and when he entered it just seemed fitting for me to say, "Stephen has entered." In his traditional Chat routine, Stephen responded with, "Hey folks."

8:50 a.m.

PrincessLeia and Tim just arrived. They live about 10 minutes away, she's read all the archives, and she was in Chat for the RinkAwards, but that's all we know about her. She is 19, Tim is 16, and they both seem very nice. She's got tons of very long, wavy hair and glasses, but except for those things, she and her brother look very much alike. Sam introduced everyone, and when he came to Dave, PrincessLeia said, "Somehow, I recognized him." PrincessLeia's real name is Rebecca, as is Rivikah's, so to avoid extreme confusion, I will refer to Rivikah as Rivikah, and PrincessLeia as Rebecca.

Dave and Stephen were wondering where Heidi was, so they both called her from their cell phones. She said she was getting ready but was naked at the moment, Dave said that sounded good and that it would be "an added attraction," and she hung up on him.

8:55 a.m.

Iss and Jacqueline are here. I met them last night, but of course we must go through another round of introductions.

9 a.m.

Faux Pas and his wife are here. We're still waiting for Heidi, even though it's time to start. We all laughed when Stephen said, "You should start before Mousie gets here so you can talk."

9:10 a.m.

We're starting now. Ticia said we should have some background music, but Sam said, "My voice is melodious." Sam's starting by explaining the things arranged on tables at the back of the room, which include Leen's horses and tack, Jaffas courtesy of Brunnen-G from New Zealand, a guestbook for everyone to sign, fun letters Sam has received from Stephen and Enigma, and Jaffa cakes from Matthew.

The first thing on the agenda was the "dispensation of crap," also known as the time to give out stuff. Leen's special item was her business card in chocolate. I've never seen anything like it, and I really don't want to eat it. Amy already took a bite out of hers because she was hungry. I gave out SRCSD pens and Sewer Gator Tattoos I was able to get for free from work, and then Sam gave out the Strawberry Hullers, with a detailed demo, sans strawberries.

9:20 a.m.

Jake just arrived and took the empty seat to my left. (Amy is sitting to my right, Matthew and Ayako are in front of me, and Stephen and Stephanie are behind me.) Now Cynthia is giving out Hug Badges sent specially from teach, along with plastic roses resembling those given out in Chat.

9:25 a.m.

Heidi just put in an appearance, saying something about how she dreamed of peanut butter. She brought lots of goodies, including the Mousie Ducks I've heard about. She ordered a bunch of yellow rubber duckies, then tried to glue mouse ears on them. It took her longer than expected, so she only did about a half a dozen of those. Instead, she found some other ducks that already have various accessories on them, such as hats, sunglasses, or ties. However, she made sure to give me one of the Mousie Ducks, and she also gave me a tin box of candy that she got for me in France. I was very touched, because I had no idea she'd bring back a present from France for me. She then passed around a large bag containing the ducks and a bunch of Warner Brothers' key chains, Pez dispensers, and gumball dispensers.

9:35 a.m.

Sam's reading a hilarious article from The New Yorker now.

9:45 a.m.

We just did Hand Tricks. I was apparently on the agenda, so I went up to the front of the room and showed my hand trick that really can't be described very well in text. I think I was momentarily successful in making everyone stare at me in confusion.

10:15 a.m.

Grishny and his wife arrived in time to play a memory game with us. We went around the room, each person saying his favorite month, which did not necessarily have to be the month in which we were born. Then we went around the room again, saying our favorite item of clothing, then made another round to say our favorite dessert. Doing this with 23 people proved challenging, even after we went through the rounds a second time. We then had to list as many of the items we could remember. Ahmoacah (Joann), who lives in Boston, arrived in the middle of the game but was too late to join in.

Once we had exhausted our remaining brain cells, we went over the list to see how many we got right. Of a possible 69 correct answers, Rebecca won with 51. Jake and I both had 47 correct, which we thought rather remarkable, especially since we hadn't cheated and had gotten different ones wrong. Stephen was the first to finish, so he spent the remainder of the time playing with the "AIM Ball." Sam had found a yellow volleyball with a smiley face on it at Wal-Mart, so he thought it was rather appropriate. I later saw Stephen's paper and learned why he finished so quickly: He hadn't filled in any of the blanks, but instead wrote about how he had won the game, no matter what.

Dave started making noises, so Heidi pushed him over. Whether or not his falling out of the chair was an act or real, I do not know.

11:15 a.m.

After the memory game, we took a break for a while, and I snapped a few photos of Grishny and his wife, Faux Pas and Tamara, and Matthew with a surprised Maryam (also known as Ayako). We mingled, talked, and ate some puffy corn things Grishny brought from Ohio.

11:25 a.m.

We just tasted Cheerwine, a soda Iss brought from North Carolina. I didn't like it, but it was nothing compared to Moxie. That stuff tasted worse than any cough syrup I've ever had, and I think I had just about every cough syrup known to mankind when I was growing up. Sam went around the room, pouring a small amount into Dixie cups for us to taste. Leen took a few pictures of the reactions to the drink, and everyone roared with laughter when I tasted it. Apparently, I lived up to my reputation of having an expressive face. Other than the horrid taste of the Moxie, the only people I remember are Leen and Jake, who both cracked up when they watched me drink it. Sam was extremely disappointed to have missed out on my reaction, so he begged me to taste it again until I finally gave in. Why I actually tasted Moxie twice, I'll never know. Needless to say, it did not taste any better the second time around. When Sam was back at the front of the room, he took several swallows of Moxie just to prove that it wasn't so bad that a "Macho Man" couldn't drink it, but I was not convinced. Later, he wasn't feeling so good, and I have a hunch it was a result of that dreadful Moxie.

Sam then continued on with his agenda by doing two impressions, including a Robert DeNiro one and Jim Carrey from "The Mask." I think he did a good job, but I probably would have understood them better if I had actually seen the movies. [I later learned that the impressions were intentionally bad.]

Ticia, in typical Ticia-ness, faked us all out by looking toward the door and saying, "There's Darien!" (She often gets us in Chat by saying, "New archive!" when there really isn't a new archive.)

11:30 a.m.

Sam is reading stupid e-mail he has received, and we're all cracking up. Stephen especially liked the one from K, a character who once thought he was stalking Sam but really had all the wrong information.

2 p.m.

Just before we broke for lunch, Darien and Amber arrived. Sam, Leen, Amy, Jake, and I went across the street to eat at Applebee's, and we got a table adjacent to one occupied by Heidi, Rivikah, Stephen, Stephanie, Dave, Darien, and Amber. We were a lively bunch, but our waitress was very good. We gave her a nice tip because she was so funny, nice, and friendly.

We were outside the restaurant when someone came up behind me and scared me half to death. It was Maryam, and of course everyone laughed over my reaction. It turned out that Maryam and Matthew had also eaten at Applebee's, and we all went back across the street together. Heidi's group went to the crosswalk, but we didn't take the extra steps. It was more fun to dash across the street and make a big dramatic scene.

Our lunchtime wasn't over yet, so Leen and I went in Jake's car to try to find floppy disks for Amy's digital camera and mobile items for Jake and me. We came across a nearby Staples, and I found the perfect item: a miniature notebook. Nearly everyone had seen me taking notes, and most had commented on it, so the notebook was appropriate.

We got back just in time, and then Dave premiered a new Bad Movie Review. He had a "contest" to see who could guess when he had written the review, with the prize being a large cube of paper from Dave's job. Amy won by guessing that he had written it on the plane. The bad movie review was hilarious and was much better when read aloud by Dave. He created the word, "sucktastic," which amused me. Heidi dozed off while he read it, but then she woke up in time to laugh at a funny part where the main character in the movie pulls a weapon from his "`fro of tricks."

2:35 p.m.

Sam just told the story of K trying to stalk him, and Darien suddenly asked, "What are we doing?"

We did another activity that required everyone to write down something unique about themselves that nobody else knew. Then Sam read them one at a time while we tried to guess the person. I didn't record them all, but it was rather interesting and quite amusing. Ticia's involved the numbers and types of pets she once owned, and Stephanie challenged it, saying that some of the pets belonged to the family, not to Ticia. It was funny to see sisterly rivalry. Matthew's unique thing was that he had once been involved in a Jewish wedding ceremony at school. When his name was revealed and Sam asked why Matthew had done that, his only explanation was, "I got bored." It became a running joke that, after Sam read one, we'd guess Dave. Each time, Dave would loudly and vehemently say, "NO." At one point, Dave tried to say something longer but got his words so confused that nobody understood him. "Next time, I'll try that in English," he said and left it at that. After guessing Dave's name for nearly every item, Sam finally got to Dave's piece of paper, which read, "What is the meaning of life?" We were all puzzled, and Dave responded in typical Dave fashion, "Well, you said to write down something nobody knew." We thought that activity was finished, but then Sam found one more piece of paper; Maryam's had fallen into the bucket of ice that had kept the Moxie cold and was dripping wet.

2:58 p.m.

We're taking a break while Sam moves furniture, and he jokingly told me to be sure to note the time he did that. The time has been duly recorded.

3:40 p.m.

Heidi, Dave, Jake, and I took a short trip in Heidi's rental car to Dairy Queen, where we got some ice cream. We're back now, and Stephanie is singing a song accompanied by a tape of herself playing the piano. However, she just forgot the words, so she went up to her hotel room to get the music book. Our chairs are now arranged in a semi-circle for the poetry reading, courtesy of Sam's furniture moving which occurred at 2:58 p.m.

3:45 p.m.

Don read a funny poem that he had saved on his Palm Pilot, and then Stephanie came back with her songbook and sang the whole song. She sang the same song at Don and Ticia's wedding and did a very nice job. Cynthia read a poem about a medieval-era man named Lancelot meeting a modern-day woman. Amy then read a poem, which was the only one she'd written, "since I bought the house." She used that line earlier and said it again for Issachar's sake, since he got such a kick out of it. The poem was called "I'd've," which is a fascinating contraction. Then I read a poem from a book of poems written by Howard's grandfather. Sam found it at a book fair a while back, and Howard was tickled that Sam liked it so much. Sam then read a very good, rather deep poem that he had written in May and which nobody had heard or read before. Amber left her poem at home but leafed through a binder of other poems until she found one she liked. Sam read some bad poems that have been contributed to the Poetry Pool, including the crumb poem, the skin cream poem, and the notorious pain poem. He also read the cannibal poem, which I think should be called "Human Flesh," and it was his dramatic reading of the poem that made it truly hilarious. Darien wrote a poem while the others were reading their poems, and he also read the DEAD ONE poem.

4:15 p.m.

The RinkBaby just arrived, and Grishny's wife left with the baby. Dave, Stephen, and Darien sang the Philosopher's song from Monty Python, made all the funnier by the fact that they had never practiced and didn't know all of the words. Amber then read the poem Darien had been writing, and it was a funny piece about Dave.

4:55 p.m.

Sam showed his Claymation videos and some footage from last year's RinkUnion, and now we're now watching "Sinbad of the Seven Seas," the official bad movie of RinkWorks.

6:30 p.m.

The movie is over, and we're taking a break. Although the chairs were uncomfortable, the movie was very funny.

7:30 p.m.

Sam, Leen, Jake, Cynthia, and I went across the street and got pizza from Papa John's. We brought it back to the conference room, where we also shared with Amy and Rivikah. Rivikah has been working on her mobile for most of the day, despite numerous weight challenges. Sam is looking for the AIM ball, and I suspect Stephen is still playing with it. Now Sam is lying on the floor, making "nap angels," which are just like snow angels, only without the snow but with the nap of the carpet.

7:40 p.m.

Jake made a paper airplane and was trying to hit Sam with it. After at least 10 attempts, he still hadn't hit Sam. The airplane landed near me, I tried, and nailed Sam directly on my first try. [Sam later said it took me two attempts to hit him, but I'll stand by my account of it.] Meanwhile, Rivikah is still determined to make her mobile work, even though it's not cooperating. She has a lot more patience than I do.

8:10 p.m.

Rebecca and her brother went home for dinner and came back with presents. Until he was just recently laid off, their dad worked for Compaq, and he sent an assortment of things for us, including giant calculators, flashlights, and paddle wheel timers. I just signed a pizza box, which led to a short discussion about signatures and whether or not my signature made the box more valuable.

8:15 p.m.

Amy is teaching Jake a clapping game that involves soda bottles.

9:42 p.m.

The clapping game caught on, and we just finally decided to stop. After filling some of the soda bottles with water to make them heavier, a bunch of us sat in a circle and learned the clapping rhythm. We got faster and mastered it, so then I had the bright idea of going the other direction around the circle. When we had mastered that, including switching directions on a moment's notice, I then had the idea of trying it with our eyes closed. Iss, who was standing back and watching, apparently reached in and took a bottle while we all had our eyes closed. (Sam videotaped this part, and I was later able to see Grishny open his eyes and attempt to beat Iss with a soda bottle.)

10 p.m.

Because my eyes were closed, I missed out on some funny parts from the game. At one point, Jake grabbed Grishny's hand instead of the soda bottle, and I guess that caused mild pandemonium. I know I went fishing across the circle for my bottle at one point, and I heard laughter from those watching. Cynthia also apparently kept grabbing Amy's foot instead of the bottle.

Rivikah's mobile is finished, and it really is a work of art.

11:06 p.m.

We're back in our room now, with an extra person. Jake is crashing in our room, as it's an hour drive back to his house and he decided to go with us tomorrow.