> You need to be deliberate in seeking out practical, moral, and spiritual support for what is probably going to be, realistically, a difficult year of adjustment. You & Hannah need to prepare both separately and together so you can get through the inevitable rough spots.


Excellent point, and well taken. Hannah and I will both be attending pre-marital counseling--seperately and as a couple, if necessary.

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> Separately: May I encourage you to find someone--a mentor--who will be able to give you advice & support and *whom you will allow to keep you accountable* in being the husband you need to be for Hannah, and in being the father to your baby? Your single buds are probably not going to be able to provide the best perspective--how about someone you respect in your church who's maybe a little bit older and already married?
> A man you would feel comfortable meeting with regularly to pray with and talk about life honestly, to help you become the godly husband & father you want to be.


Also a good point, and I have a wealth of examples to draw from. My father, for one, has been a close moral, spiritual, and otherwise logical adviser to me during the past few days(all my life, really) and has assisted me in making decisions, reasoning through certain situations and circumstances, and coming to grips with the reality of the situation as a whole. Also, the preacher with whom I am studying has been of invaluable worth to me over the past 5 days. He is someone that I respect greatly, that I have both a working relationship and a friendship with, and that is both older and happily married with 4 children. Not to mention he has dealt with similar situations before. The list doesn't end there, of course, but those two will probably be the most influential.

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> Together: There's lots of great material on building a Christian marriage & family--get your hands on some and spend some time reading out loud & discussing together. You may already be familiar with Campus Crusade's "Family Life Today" --if not, see link below. There's a wealth of resource there. They also host seminars that are awesome. Get someone to send you to one as a wedding present--you will be making a wise investment in your marriage.

I will definitely check that out. Right now, we are planning on going through a pre-marital study based on a book called "Before You Say 'I Do'" by H. Norman Wright & Wes Roberts. I won't be turning down any material that is presented to me. I know that there is a lot of literature out there with a lot of different approaches. I want to experience as much as possible along those lines because I understand that different people will have different strong points and different viewpoints and will be able to help me in different ways.
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> It will be hard at times, but you know, there will also be some of the sweetest moments of your life in this next year. Look forward to them together and then treasure them when they happen. Keep their memory in the forefront of your thoughts and they can help carry you over the low places.
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> koala(((hugs)))mom

Thank you for the advice, and thank you for the encouragement. This is one of the reasons that I know I can bring this sort of thing to RinkWorks. No matter what I have to say or what situation I'm in, I will get sound, reasonable, and caring words from all.

Shan-Thanks again-dar