> ... Whoa. I don't know about anyone else, but
>that seems completely foreign to me. I think
>one of the major differences between the way you
>think of numbers and the way I think of numbers
>is that you think of them as the characters that
>represent the numbers, and I just think of them
>as numbers. I could have been blind since birth
>and I would think of numbers the exact same w
>way. (Well, okay, probably not. But the point
>is I don't have a visual representation of
>them) They're just *numbers*. I don't use any
>of my senses to define them. It's like an extra
>sense that deals with quantities. Or something
>like that.
>

Exactly. I can't conceive of thinking of a number any other way. There are only two ways I ever visualize a number. Either as the digit, or, if the number is 1-6, as the dot representation on a die. So I see 6 as either the numeral 6 or as two rows of three dots. Five is either the numeral 5 or that star pattern of five dots. I don't know HOW to deal with them any other way.

Part of the reason I started this thread was to talk about how different people visualize things and do mental math, but there was another reason as well. My job isn't one that I particularly enjoy most of the time. The career I'm in I just sort of fell into, and now I'm making really good money so it's not an easy decision to just abandon it for something more fulfilling. Everytime I get into one of these "my job sucks" funks, I start thinking back to what it was I really *wanted* to do.

Ever since I was in the fourth grade, I've only ever had three answers to the question "what do you want to be when you grow up?" They were "pilot", "astronaut", and "physicist."

The first two eventually merged, as I realized it would be not only possible but helpful to be both a pilot *and* an astronaut. But my eyesight put an end to that, as the only type of pilot I wanted to be what a fighter pilot, and you need perfect vision for that. But as it worked out, the third choice, physicist, was becoming more and more appealing anyway, so it didn't bother me too much.

I went through my entire elementary and secondary education firmly believing that that was what I was going to do. Even when I started getting exceedingly poor marks in subjects such as Algrebra, Geometry, and Trig, I still held it in my head that when it came time to do the actual Physics, I'd be set. The math would work itself out somehow.

Well, it didn't. I took physics as a senior in high school, but got kicked out the first week for something I didn't do so I had to take it "independantly". Which basically meant not at all. So my first real taste of physics was in college.

I can blame it on many things, such as being too young for college at that point, not being ready, not having my head on straight... there are endless excuses. But the result was I got an F in Freshman Physics and dropped out of the physics major the next semester.

So for the first time since I was about 9 years old, I was faced with the sobering reality that I was *not* going to be a physicist after all. It was extremely hard to deal with, and it still bothers me to this day.

Math is alien to me, and I can't seem to grasp even the simplest things most of the time. I *still*, to this day think that if I had it to do over again, I could make it through the physics program. But then again, I thought that barely squeaking by in all those advanced math classes in high school didn't really mean anything, either.

Anyway, I feel that it's my inability to think abstractly that kills me in math and physics. I wish desperately that I could do the things that Wes does. I don't understand why I was cursed with the burning desire to follow a career path that is basically closed off from me because of my way of thinking. *sigh*

-- Dave