>
> Okay, here's my BAM interpretation of The Count of Monte Cristo:
>
> __THE COUNT OF MONTE CRISTO__
> By Alexandre Dumas
>
> Edmond Dantés: "I am a simple sailor. All I want out of life is to marry my beloved Mercédès and be a ship captain."
>
> Fernand, Danglars, & de Villefort: "Edmond Dantés is in our way. We'll squash him like a bug."
>
> Fernand, Danglars, and De Villefort all CONSPIRE against Edmond. Edmond goes to PRISON for FOURTEEN YEARS and almost DIES, but meets Faria who EDUCATES him, tells him about a TREASURE and helps him ESCAPE.
>
> Dantés: "I shall use my newfound riches and anonymity to get REVENGE on my betrayers, all the while rationalizing it away as JUSTICE."
>
> Dantés waits ten years, does a bunch of STUFF that seems unimportant but is CRUCIAL to the story later, and then goes to PARIS.
>
> Dantés: "I am Edmond Dantés!"
>
> Fernand, Danglars, & de Villefort: "Aaah!"
>
> Fernand SHOOTS himself. De Villefort goes MAD. Danglars goes BANKRUPT.
>
> Dantés: "Ah, reven-- er, JUSTICE feels so good."
>
> THE END
>
> Gri"that's my first attempt at a BAM condensation. How'd I do?"shny

Good. It's over average in length, but I'm not creative enough to suggest how to reduce it.

I'd change ...

..."is in our way" to "is a simple sailor".
..."Dantés: ""I am.." to "Count of Monte Christo: ""I am.."

Also, what would you say if I suggest replacing Dantés' last line with "Danté disappears into a magic mid-eastern lamp"?

jul"loves this type of classics"ian