> I'm off until Sunday to lovely Fresno, California (aka Crapville USA) to attend a journalism conference with my school's paper. Fresno is notorious for being more or less NoCal, and anyone who knows me knows my hatred for that wretched wasteland that is the north part of my state.

To be utterly honest with you, Stephen, everyone who knows you gets so overwhelmed by the sheer volume of things you hate that it can't be helped if a few things slip through unnoticed. But that's neither here nor there.

> At any rate, I'm pretty sure I won't be murdered by roving hippies, but you never know. If I don't come back alive, I leave the RinkForum to the first person who kills Darien (if he suicides his corpse gets to rule -- this is what's called "incentive").

Heh. If Stephen doesn't come back alive, I leave the RinkForum to whomever killed *him.* Even if it was a roving hippie.

> I will also be competing in at least the news writing competition, which makes me slightly nervous since I really don't have a lot of experience. If you are so inclined, wish me luck. If you don't, I hate you and hope you're murdered by a pack of wild dogs before I get back.

I get the impression that even if I *do* wish you luck (not that this post should in any way be construed in such a light), you'll still hate me and hope I'm murdered by the wild dogs. But that's okay, because even if you *were* to win, I'd still hate you and wish you the same. Except that I hope the wild dogs that kill you have bees in their mouths, so when they bark they chew bees.

At any rate, I wish you enough luck that after you emerge from your total, crushing defeat a broken, hollow, lifeless husk of a cyborg, you'll retain enough shreds of life and of sanity to crawl back over here and tell us, so you can ully comprehend the depth of the ridicule and humiliation we heap upon you. So, if that was what you meant, yeah. Good luck.

> Ste "This place better not get all happy and cheery while I'm gone" phen

I'm sure that if we really try, we can find something to be depressed about. Like your inevitable return.

Dar "He had it coming" ien